*music*
What is going on? Hello, hello. Everybody. Woo! Long pause. Oh, you did, long pause. You don't read long pause.
Hi, hey, welcome to the show. This is BS from a basement. It's brought to you by Get Some Sports 13 TV for the best in local high school athletics, AAU basketball, intercollegiate volleyball, and club volleyball on YouTube, Facebook Live, Spotify, Audible, Pandora, Apple, and Amazon. And Rydis Center Brewery, brewed with humility, locally brewed and packaged in Lake Villa, Illinois. Try one of those bad boys today.
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corporate firm springing for a little nice smelling candle in the studio. We did. And a big studio upgrade. There's a lot of good stuff happening here. So much good stuff. Now, you didn't see the candles that they sent because Carl lit them for us. They were already half burnt. Okay. Well, that's okay. I thought they'd just been on for a really long time. There is a slightly, what do they call it, lightly used urinal cake in the bathroom as well, which is nice. Nice. So it smells good in this.
It smells delicious in there. Gives you something to practice your aim on. Yes. Yes. All right, everybody. You're going to get a little sideways there, JD. Sorry about that. Oh. Oh. There we go. Okay. The po-po gotcha. If we're going to have nice stuff, we're going to use it correctly. Damn it. All right, Bri, it's your toast. Let's get on with it. Fantastic. Yes. Now, I...
It's one I spent a lot of time on. No, you didn't. You walked in the production meeting and said, is it seriously my toast? Take two. Okay. To the host with the most and the best guest around, I propose we toast our spouses who keep our feet on the ground.
That is a nice one, Brian. Thank you. I like it. That was really nice. Clinky, drinky, clinky, drinky. Oh, so good. It's good. It hits the lips. It's good. All right, let's get to it. So if you want to call in and talk to us, all you got to do is call my phone. Everybody can do that. Unless you don't have my phone number, then you can't do that. But do not fear. Go on to Snapchat.
Hook up with us at GetSomeSports13 and you can use the call-in feature on Snapchat to call and speak to us. We would love to have you do so. If you want to type, we accept that form of communication as well. You go on the comments box in Facebook or in YouTube and you can type your little comment in there. It comes into the control room.
Carl will sound out all the words and then send it in to us and we'll read it on the air. It's fantastic. And we take big comments too, not just little comments. Yeah. All the comments. Every size. Yes. Get out there what you need to get out there. We're all for it. Okay. Did I cover everything? You did. Should we start giving your phone number out? We've talked about that a couple of times. Yeah.
I think we decided I need to get a burner phone. I feel that's not your best idea right now. I do think that there are apps that you can generate a phone number, but there's no need. We got Snapchat. We got everything. Our target demographic is on Snapchat. That is true. I think. Possibly. I don't know what that means. They're at least on Facebook.
They should be on Facebook. Maybe, what do you always talk about? MySpace. Could be on MySpace. We can't broadcast on MySpace. How many people we still have on dial-up? Not many after your last report. That's right. Letting the people know. All right. Our first segment.
that I hit the button too soon for, is brought to us by Brian's underwear. They are short, white, tight, and they fit just right. Brian's underwear. Balls. Balls. All right, that felt better. Pretty soon. Popcorn balls. Oh, I don't know what you mean by that. That was the worst thing to get for Halloween. You never got a popcorn ball. I thought we were still talking about your underwear.
Sometimes he gets popcorn balls. Only with a movie-style butter. On that note, we are moving straight into this Week in Famous Birthdays and National Thing Day. Love it. Kicking it off. Best segment. We noticed in our statistics, a lot of people log off right after this segment's over. Hang up. That's enough. As soon as it's done. That's all we need. All the other shit can just wait for next time. All right. Go ahead, Jamie. First one.
Alive. Today's birthday, October 22nd. October 22nd. This well-known lyrical lover turned 57 years old today. His full actual name is Orville Richard Burrell, and he is a Jamaican-American reggae musician, singer, DJ, and actor.
Wow, she just told us his name and we still can't get it. I did. Told you his name. Still don't know. The only reggae person I know is not. He's no longer with us and hasn't been for a long time. He's not 57. He is also not 57. Well, this 57-year-old is simply fantastic. And a little guy. He's only 5'1", but has a net worth of $14 million. Oh.
He's been married since 2014 and has three daughters. So hopefully he's not creeping with the girl next door. Wow. These are all song titles that I know not. I know none of them. All right. Let's see if you can get this. The last one. Ready? Okay. He was in the U.S. Marines.
And also got his professional nickname from a Scooby-Doo character. Shaggy! Scooby-Doo would say, wasn't me. Oh, Mr. Lover Lover, right? Yep. Shaggy. Shaggy. Brian and I got it simultaneously.
Nice work. Racky. Rattro. Rattro. Rattro. Rattro. Rattro. Rattro. I almost got you guys in that one. You did. All right. Second one. Alive. She was a little nervous there, Dan. I was getting tense I would have thought Mr. Lover Lover was older than 57, but okay this is so this next one also threw me. Okay. Famous actor and rapper turned 54 on October 20th. Okay.
He received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2018. He's won two AVN Adult Video News Awards for Best Music Soundtrack and Top Selling Tape. Oh.
Top selling tape. Well, that means like VHS tape. Okay. He keeps a blue flag hanging on his backside, but only on the left side. Yeah, that's the crip side. Because he's a crip. Boom. I just flashed the scene. Nobody saw that.
Some call him the unofficial mascot of Team USA due to the breakout coverage of the Olympics. How old? 54? Yeah, I thought he was way older. I did, too. Those are hard miles. Snoop Diggity Dog. Yeah, I thought he was for sure well into his 60s. D-O-double-G. He looks like it, but I think we all know why that is the case.
So there you go. Two monsters of the music world. Yes. Shaggy and Snoop. I wonder if they had a joy birthday party. For sure. It's a dog-eat-dog world. Yes, it is. Also, that tape was called Doggy Style, the one that Snoop won all the awards for. Rent that today at your local Blockbuster. It's a good one. Can you rent that? What are those Reddit...
Redfin. Maybe. I don't think doggy style is on there. No. Buy that in vinyl. Maybe. All right. So let's find out next what is the national thing day of. First one.
Big news. National Caps Lock Day. Oh, yes. I love it. You're yelling at me. You're yelling at me. This one is celebrated twice a year because it's so important. Today and June 28th. It was started by a software developer in Iowa in the year 2000 because he wanted to remind us that uppercase letters look like shouting, which is not nice, and they make you think of anger, which is also not nice. No.
Yeah. The second day was added, June 28th, because he wanted to honor Billy Mays, who was the announcer on the As Seen on TV show. Oh, yeah. He would yell, buy it now. He always seemed to talk like he was talking in all caps. So when he died, that also became Cap Lock's day. Because of all things to have, two days should be Cap's lock. It should be that! So...
In what year did the typewriter debut that could type both upper and lowercase letters? Wow. 1932. 1921. 1878. We can't take it. We're even in the right century. You were way off. Yeah. Before that, it was caps only, so all sorts of yelling and anger. So get out there today. The Constitution's actually written in yelling. So apparently every word you typed...
That was very important back then. Yes. So my cry to our audience is whatever message you send next today, put it in all caps, see what happens. You have to today. No choice. Wish I would have known that this morning. There's a couple emails that deserve that. Yes. Which brings us to Brian's underwear's favorite day. It's National Nut Day.
Oh, I'm not sure what that was. That was a mishet, but that was the right mishet because that was a little nice. That was good. So National Nut Day, not those kind of nuts, Brian, is celebrated on October 22nd every year and was started in 2015.
Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't. It's supposed to encourage the public to choose a healthier snack. Oh. This day is dedicated to all things nut. Yes. Nuts have been a part of the regular human diet since over 800,000 years ago. Whoa.
Forage and, what is it called? Hunters and gatherers. Right. Yeah. And everyone knows Mr. Peanut, but here's how he came about. In 1918, the Planners Company launched a logo contest, and that shapely looking guy you see today was the winner. He was created by a 13-year-old that won $5 for making that. Well, that's not too big a stretch. It's a peanut.
It's shaped like a peanut. With glasses. He's got a top hat. He's distinguished. And a tie, I think. And a cane. Nuts is balls? Yes. Was this holiday created by a guy that just goes by D's? I hope that's who invented it. Or does. No. All right.
How much do Americans spend each year on peanut butter? Oh, Judas. In a year, America, peanut butter. Well, let's see. Let's put a little thought to this, Bray. How much of the population is allergic to peanuts, do you think? I'm going to go 30%. You think 30% is allergic? I'm just guessing. Okay. So that knocks out...
I don't know. Almost 100 million people. Yeah, that's what I was going for. So I'm going to say... I'm going to say... Two billion dollars. Oh, that's too high. I'm going to say 975 million.
Brian? $2 billion. $800 million. Your math was so close, Kyle. Wow. Peoria Pete wanted to get in on this. One peanut. Well, it's a blessing we can hear this phone ring. Peoria Pete. Hello, hello, hello. Peoria Pete, today is your day for nutty fun.
Oh. That's his balls. I'm not touching that with a 10-foot pole. We just got to hear how much Americans spend each year on peanut butter. Do you have a guess or did you hear the answer? I did not hear the answer. Obviously, you can tell why I did not hear the answer. Yeah, I hear that.
Whose little kids do you have in your car? Yeah, did the parents know? Just some random ones I picked up. Hey, want some candy? How much a year on peanut butter? That's a great question. Are we saying just strictly peanut butter? Yes. Or...
Not like goober grape or anything like that. Or Nutella. Okay, I'm going to say the average American spends... No, no, no. All of America per year. All of America per year? And I didn't get a lot of love for as close as I was because I went over. I'm going to say like...
8 million? Well, it's 800 million, but you were so close. You just were a couple of zeros. You actually won because you were not over. I was so close. You forgot those extra zeros. It's okay. It could happen to anyone. I'm a crunchy peanut butter kind of guy, so I was thinking how much crunchy. We have to hang up. Goodbye. We got like
accidentally we always get the smooth and the shift shopper ship shopper accidentally bought extra crunchy. Oh, literally it's almost just like a jar of peanuts. You're going to chip your tooth on that. Yeah, it's not good. And that's what's going to be on my peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Colleen makes me every day for lunch tomorrow. That's fantastic. Make sure...
You chew it up before you swallow. Is his voice just booming in your ears? Does it sound super good? He sounds so good. So clear. You sound really good. You've been working on your pipes? This is so much better than when we had to hold the phone to the microphone last time. Yes. Corporates actually ask us to take that podcast down. It's so bad.
The production level of this group just continues to impress me every week. It's like you're in the room with us. It really is, in that we're all in a shower together, and it's like bouncing off the walls. It's great. It probably sounds like crap on the recording, but it sounds great right now. Peoria, we have not been on the air to get an update on how Peoria High School, the Ridgewoods, plural, did at the state golf tournament.
Talk to us. You know what? Good question. The nights fared solidly. We had one kid make the cut. Okay. Which was good. Well, didn't you only have two there in the first place? We had two there, and one of the two made the cut. That's 50%. That's good. Yeah, 50%. That's a good hit rate. That'll get you into the Hall of Fame some places. Yeah.
But yeah, it was a freshman who made the cut. So that was pretty cool. And he ended up top 50. Nice. Oh, how many people in there? 62? There was 112 golfers at the state tournament. 112. Well, good for him as a freshman. That's a, it's a building block, right? That's yeah. That's quite a, quite a good accomplishment. Yeah.
I think it's great. Hey, Peoria, I got to ask you a question. Okay. Jamie's going to wrap up her segment, and then we're going to get into BS from a basement sports, which I actually think you're going to want to partake in. Can we let her wrap up, and then you can be all over the sports section with us? Yeah. Listen, I'll get the kids in the house here. I'll give you guys a call back. Oh, fantastic. Sounds good. You the man. I love it. All right. Bye.
All right. So I feel like Peoria almost saved the people because the gift this week is noisy to open and noisy to eat. It's a bag of mixed nuts. Mixed nuts. So had me kept, look at Brian. I'll hold Brian's. I'll hold both of them until after the show. Thank you, Jamie. I thought we were going to skip through that because Peoria called, but then like the people. Yeah. Sorry. Trust me, America and our international audience. I've, I've,
Spared you a lot of pain and suffering. Contains 60% peanuts and then 40% other nuts. How about that? Brian is about to jump across the table for those. His eyes lit up when you pulled those out. You know what? Salty nuts? Yeah. Happy National Nut Day.
Thanks, JD. Is that a chance the rapper hat? Is that what that is? It is not. Every time I wear this, I get asked that question. Doesn't he wear a three on there? He does, but look in the middle of my three. It's not a circle. Oh, there's an arrow up and down. It's three up, three down. This hat's actually from Cooperstown. Oh. How about that? Oh, I like that hat. Yeah. All right, here we go.
We don't have any other music, so we're just going to go with this music for the sports. Brown sugar brown pie. This one always tricks me that someone's calling in. I know. Yes. We're working on that as well behind the scenes. Don't worry. And it could be Jim Nance, too. Yes. No, Jim Nance would never be on this one. Oh, that's right.
Although we're looking forward to him joining the tour. Okay, listen, we're going to talk about a few things up front, and then we're going to get into a little sidebar, and then we're going to get into the wagering. So Auntie Paula would not like this. No, she is gone. She's left. She's gone to bed. She's enjoying her nuts.
All right. First of all, Uncle Doug, first of all, congrats to the Lakes Girls Volleyball team for winning the NLCC conference. Solid. Undefeated. Hashtag undefeated, girls. Great job. Way to go. Way to go, indeed. Looking like they're going to get a little rematch against Grayslake Central for their regional game, which will take place at Grayslake North, which is better than Rockford. Truth. Yes. Yes.
So, wanted to get that one out there for the people. Now, let's check in on World Series champs betting amongst the panel here in the studio. I should just, like, take a bow during this. To remind everyone, Brian picked the Phillies. So close. Jamie picked the Tigers. And I picked the Mariners. You were so close. One pitch away from Glory. God damn it.
Dang it. Did you see that game? The Tigers game was close too. Yeah, it was. They all were good ones. Except the Phillies. Well, yeah, your choice was bad, but the rest of our games were decent. Stupid Mariners. Unbelievable. By the way, that guy, what's his name? The catcher? Route? Root?
Flout. Raleigh. Raleigh. Slappy, slippy, Samsonite. Cal something. Cal Raleigh. Do you guys remember back the mid-80s when the Royals won the World Series? Yeah, he looks like he's a 60-year-old softball player. The first baseman's name was Steve Bye-Bye Balboni, and that dude looks exactly like him. He's like the second coming of Steve Balboni. Wanda thought he was like 45 years old.
Have you seen this guy with the bowels? He legit looks like he is and doesn't have a great physique, but he can hit a baseball. Yes. All right. So listen, before we get into the wagering, we have to go back. This almost made goofball of the week. It's not on your outline, so you're going to have to sit back and just enjoy my story. There's more than was on the show. We're going to talk about the Giants-Broncos game from Sunday.
I didn't miss that. Okay. Well, it's okay because I'm going to bring you the important part. Catch me up. Okay. The Giants were up 400 to Nussin. Nussin. Nussin. For a Nussin. It's like you're in a movie Caddyshack. Thanks for Nussin.
I'm going to try to describe this. So what I want you to do is just close your eyes and just vision what's happening. I'm going to describe it play by play. Are you ready? Yes. Okay. The New York Giants enter the fourth quarter in Denver against the Broncos, leading 19 to 0. 0.
With 14-08 left in the game, Denver scores their first touchdown and then converts a two-point conversion. It is now 19-8. Eight. Thank you. With 10-14 left in the game, New York scores another touchdown. It is now 26-8, Giants lead. Okay.
Five minutes go by. At 5.13 in the game, Denver scores a touchdown. So the score is now 26-16 because Denver converted another two-point conversion. Now...
We get down to 351 to go in the game. Denver scores again. How did they do that? Well, they intercepted a pass from the Giants, which a lot of people are asking the question, why are you throwing at that point in the game? They didn't run it back, but they intercepted it, then subsequently scored. So now it's 26-23. Okay? Okay. Giants. Giants are leading. Okay.
Denver then proceeds to kick the ball off to New York. The Giants go three plays and then have to punt, and they run less than one minute off the clock. Not great. So now, with one minute and 51 seconds in the game, Denver scores another touchdown and now leads the game
30 to 26. Keep in mind, it was 19-0. It's now 30 to 26, and the other team is ahead. Okay? With 37 seconds left in the game, New York scores a touchdown. Okay?
They're now ahead 32 to 30. They line up for the extra point and miss it. Oh, no. So instead of being 33-30, it's 32-30, New York in the lead. But it's okay. There's 37 seconds left. Yikes.
Bo-o-o-o-o-nicks. As time expires in Denver, Denver hits a 39-yard field goal and wins 33-32. Okay, I have a big question about this. Well, I'm going to just... After yours. A couple of things here. So in the fourth quarter, with less than 14 minutes...
46 points were scored between the two teams. That is wild. That's like a peewee game. In a game that for three quarters only saw 19 points scored, we score 46 in less than 14 minutes.
There are three lead changes in the fourth quarter, and it's the first time in 1,602 consecutive NFL games that a team leading by 18 points in the final six minutes of the game has lost that game. Record setting. Not name the Bears. Now, of all...
for this to happen to. I mean, it maybe would have been worse if it was the Jets, but for it to happen to the Giants is almost equally as bad because the Newark fan base is just eviscerating this team for this. But please go ahead and ask your question. My question is, were there like five people left
that watched this fourth quarter because if they're up that much, people are probably like, peace out, I got to go. If you're on regional coverage, very likely they cut over to another game. For sure. And then everyone who was there was like, this game's over. I'm going back to tailgate. I'm not staying in here. And then the whole fourth quarter was on the NFL red zone. It's just up and down the field as if there's no defense on the field at all. People thought red zone was broken. That was incredible.
Wow. Totally incredible. And to miss it on a... To lose by the virtue of a missed extra point is just salt to the wound. That's why they moved that baby back. That's right. It's supposed to entice... Two point. Well, it's supposed to entice...
I don't know what it's supposed to entice. It's supposed to make it harder, thereby bringing the stress level up. Balls. We're going into week nine of the college football pick-em. Pick-em.
I wish we had a show last week because actually the wagering last week was quite interesting. I apologize. Remember the biggest line we could find last time? Yeah. You damn near lost that. Oh, I know. One point. But I didn't. But you didn't. But I didn't. Yeah. Almost doesn't tell. All right. So here's how this works. We're going to go through the games. You listen to the games first. There are four of them.
I've curated for the panel. And then you're going to pick the game you like the best. Okay. Okay. All right. Are you ready? Here we go. Set, go. Somehow I just closed all the rings on my watch sitting here drinking in Manhattan. You really upped your heart rate. I told you there was a God. You were so excited by that last...
Go around. All right. First one of the week. Number eight. Ole Miss. Flying Kiffins. Versus Oklahoma. The Sooners. Boomer. From Norman, Oklahoma. Oklahoma giving Ole Miss four and a half, which I have to say seems totally backwards.
That doesn't seem right. I think if you're a running Rebels fan, you take that all day. But we'll come back to that. All right. Next game, number 15, Missouri. The Tigers. Versus number 10, the Vanderbilt.
Commodores. Very nice. Not the commodes. Not the commodes. Interestingly, in Nashville, Missouri only catching two and a half. Vanderbilt is a far better team than Missouri. And they just whooped up on LSU. Yeah, two and a half seems like not enough for the Tigers. All right.
Number 25, and this is on here for you, Jamie. Number 25, Michigan. The Wolverines. Versus Michigan State. This is coming to us from Spartyville. The Spartans. East Lansing. The Spartans. Michigan lay in 14 and a half. Okay. Okay.
And of course, our last game. For which I will be on campus. Rivals week. I will be on campus in stadium. The only downside is this damn game starts at 11 a.m., which sucks. That doesn't give time for a lot of fun. Jamie, Kansas. The Jayhawks. Versus K-State.
The Wildcats. As we said, coming to you live from Lawrence, Kansas, 11 a.m. in the morning. Brutal. Kansas favored only by two and a half. You should see a good game then. I don't think it's going to be a good game. But let's hear from the panel. Which game do you like, why, and who you got?
Okay. So I'm going to go first. Yep. I'm picking the first game. Ooh. And I'm taking Ole Miss because when I was doing my research on team names, I thought it said kittens and I liked that. So I'm going with defying kittens. Yeah.
The Kiffins, of course, is a play on the coach's name, as Jamie put it out there. Well, obviously, but I'm just going to call them the Kittens, and I'm going to take them. So she's basically getting an assured win and getting four and a half points on top of it. That's a smart bet. Check, check, check. Check them. I'm going to go with the Gloria Vanderbilts.
Okay. Beating up on Mizzou. So you think Vandy covers two and a half, no problem. No problem. And I think you're absolutely right about that. All right. I'm going to go down to the Kansas.
game. Imagine that. What? Two and a half. Here's what I have to tell the people. Go into your DraftKings app or whoever you use. Take the alternate line and bump that up to seven and a half. KU covers that easy. You'll get paid more money. Well, I just use the lines that you tell me.
Kansas by a million. No doubt about it. Take it to the bank. Badoosh. All right. Our last part of the sports section, and you can feel that I'm trying to hurry this along because of Antipala's feedback. This segment is called The Biggest Line I Can Find. It's brought to us by the CGSA, the cocoa plant growers of South America, turning basic chemistry into terrible life choices since forever. Completely and totally obliterated.
The biggest line I can find this week, Jamie, is coming to us from Otzen Stadium in... Eugene, Oregon. Quack, quack, quack, quack. The University of Oregon... The Ducks....taking on Wisconsin. The pesky badgers. That is...
So sad. The Ducks spotting the Badgers. 33 and a half points. That's disrespectful. Peoria. Did you hear that? Peoria, did you hear the biggest line we could find?
No, where's it coming from? It's coming from Autzen Stadium in Eugene, Oregon. The Ducks are laying 33 and a half to Wisconsin. That's not enough. Hammer the Ducks. If Iowa could beat them by, what, 31 points? No.
All right, so Peoria Pete has the Ducks covering. Who do you got, Bri? Oh, the Ducks for sure. You think they cover? Yeah. James? I'm going to take the pesky Badgers. Oh, Badgers to lose by less than 33. I'm thinking the Fickle gets fired at halftime. Finkle meets Einhorn? I'm going to take the Ducks as well. I think they win by Fiddy. We're going to...
Fickle be a steal. Mayors are we lose, Brian. So, Peoria, the reason I wanted to ask you a couple questions about the betting section. So, listen to this. Ole Miss playing at Oklahoma. Fine, it's at Oklahoma. But Oklahoma giving Ole Miss four and a half? I think that's ludicrous. That seems rather large. Well, it's backwards, for one. It should be Ole Miss giving up points.
This is 8 versus 13, but apparently the Norman effect is real. It's the flying kittens. Nobody trusts Lane Kiffin on the road. Not even Lane Kiffin. But Lane Kiffin always knows what the line is. We all know that. Didn't he say something in a presser the other day? Well, his little backstory, his daughter is dating a linebacker at LSU. Nice.
And before they played LSU in a news conference, he said something about hammer the over. We're scoring a bunch of points. Oh, shoot. I love him. I love him. All right. How about this one? Missouri Vanderbilt. We were talking Vanderbilt's far superior team. Only spot in Missouri two and a half. I think they beat him by way worse than that.
Is it in Columbia? It is in Nashville. Oh, it's in Nashville? That quarterback is a stud from Vanderbilt. Diego. Yeah. Diego! You gotta think they can cover two and a half. I think so.
Now, what about this one, Peoria? Kansas only giving up two and a half to K-State. Our advice to the viewers, take the alternate line, dump it up to seven and a half, KU by a million. What do you think? Yeah, what do you think about that? And by the way, I will be on campus. If we're not winning by at least seven and a half, you will see me run across the field on your television.
I hope so. I'm now in. I'm all in on KC. Are they on TV? Yes, that's why it's at 11, because it's a crap game, but it'll be on Fox. Hey, I did want to mention something from a slightly earlier segment. Were you guys able to talk about the Seattle Mariners and their catcher without mentioning his nickname? Yeah.
Oh, the big dumper. The big dumper, baby. Now you set off, Brian. We compared Cal Raleigh's look very much to a 1986 Steve Balboni from the Kansas City Royals. Cal Raleigh looks
Like if you, they had to choose one guy who's playing slow pitch softball. He looks like that guy. For sure. How old is he anyway? Do you know? I thought he was pretty young. Yeah, he looks like he's 24 or something. No, is he really? I have no idea. I thought he was young.
He looks like he's 42. Yes, he looks like he could retire at any moment. But looks way better than, who is the catcher you and I were talking about on the golf course? It looks like Roberto Colon. Oh, yeah. He's 28. Okay. First off, it's not Roberto Colon, it's Bartolo Colon. Oh, I'm sorry, Bartolo Colon. No, no, no, no, Roberto is the fatter brother.
Is that possible? Yes. Whose catcher has the big old gut on him? It's Toronto. Oh, it is Toronto. Yes. Yes, that's right. Yeah. And when they were the baby blues, it just accents his midsection. It's great. Baby blue is not a good color for anyone, let alone a fat catcher. I own nothing baby blue. I hear the Jayhawks are wearing baby blue in Lawrence this week. They will not, but if they did, I would buy one.
Oh, I love it. Listen to this, Peoria. I'm heading to Lawrence tomorrow. Dad's weekend. Oh, fun. Fantastic. Listen to this lineup. We got Friday night, KU K-State volleyball. They are playing in Allen Fieldhouse, which they have not done in 16 years. That will be a blast. That might be the highlight of the weekend right there. On the same night, KU playing Louisville in a exhibition basketball game. Okay.
Turn that around after two open bar sessions Friday night to an 11 a.m. kickoff in Memorial Stadium. Alejandro Kirk. Yes, it's not a good look. His waistband is folded over. It's going to be a weekend, Pior. I'm really looking forward to it. Sounds like a good time you go out and fly out tomorrow.
Fly out tomorrow. That's going to be a great weekend. Only mistake I've made in the whole trip, a 10 a.m. flight home on Sunday. Not smart. You know what? If Carl was good, he'd get in that truck of his. Yes. And he'd pick you up Sunday about, I don't know, noon. The chances of the Colorado making it back and forth on that 10 and a half hour journey are zero. That's not going to happen. Zero.
That's probably true. Man, well, what a weekend. That's going to be fun for you and the family. For the kids, too. It's for the kids. It's all for the kids. Always for the kids. Pete, we're talking about the catcher for the Blue Jays, Alejandro Kirk. Oh, there we go. Five foot eight.
That is a solid man. He's more than 245. That is a solid man. No way. He's north of 245, guaranteed. Google him and you'll see a specimen. He's 260. How big was...
That reminds me of the scene from Blades of Glory when Will Ferrell comes out and he's like, this is what a skater's body really looks like. What a great reference, Peoria. Can you look up how much Roberto Colon, the brother of Bartolo, weighed on Bartolo's last year playing in the majors? Really? That's for real? He's got a brother named Robert. Is it possible that there's not actually another Colon? It's just him going to buffets by himself saying he's his brother?
He wears a mustache when he refers to himself as Roberto Colon. Do you remember his nickname? No. Oh. The Klins? No, big sexy. Do you remember his trot after he hit a home run that one time? That was like the greatest 45 seconds of my life watching that. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
It wasn't really a trot. That's literally as fast as he can run. Oh, that's so true. That is so true. Peoria, another interesting sports tidbit, since we still technically are in the sports section that I didn't mention, and I should have shouted this out earlier, too. One of my former players from my travel baseball coaching days was
officially signed as a junior in high school with Auburn University. So, in fact, I have coached a D1 athlete and actually think that I am the reason he is a D1 athlete. Oh, for sure it's you. I love to hear that. I am positive it is you. When that young man got on Twitter to announce that he was committed, I'm sure there was something in there about I'd like to thank all my coaches, especially
my eight you travel baseball coach. Listen, I had him eight to 12. That's four years of solid coaching. It was not mentioned in his post, but I did congratulate him and he did write me back immediately. So I did appreciate that. Frankie, thank you very much. What a guy. And congratulations. Dude has visited every school in the sec. Oh,
Well, you might be a decent player if that's the case. More importantly, Bartolo Colon, 5'11", 285. Yes! Oh, that's so good. Some people call him a spring, summer, and fall chicken. All in one. He's the reason my pitching coach here in Peoria...
It doesn't work out. It is a past major league pitcher, and he always tells me that pitchers are the best athletes on the field. Oh, yeah. This proves that true, yeah. That just goes to show you that that's the truth. He's also been called the most athletic fat guy in baseball. If you laid him on a training table, you probably couldn't get his leg up more than 12 degrees. Those hamstrings were screaming. Yeah.
Screaming. Why do you need to? He had that fastball with some run on it. He put it on the... Oh, he was... No need. People say when he went to church, he went to communion six times. One for the Father, one for the Son, and four for the Holy Ghost.
Oh, I love it. You guys are great. Well, listen, don't let me take up your whole night. I've enjoyed listening to the show tonight. Thanks for calling in, Peoria. I am glad that we can hear you on my phone and you sound just wonderful. You sound like Barry White a little bit. Can't get enough of your love, baby. You guys are the first person tonight to say they liked actually hearing me speak. Yes. Let me ask you a question.
Are you talking into an iPhone 17? Say that again? Are you talking into an iPhone 17? Did you upgrade? No, this is Colleen's old iPhone. She sure has a 17. He has a bag phone. He has a straight up flip phone. All right, we got to cut you loose. We got another caller, Peoria. We'll talk to you. All right, bye.
Kansas Aiden. What's up? What's going on? Nothing much. I just have some strong feelings about the game on Saturday. Do we feel like KU only giving two and a half is a bit of an insult?
I would say so. I mean, we're looking at a team that, you know, lost the army, lost the Iowa state overseas, almost lost to what North Dakota. I mean, that's pretty disrespectful. I mean, but it's early in the morning. Are you guys going to be up and ready to play?
We have two weeks off to prepare for this game. I'm not going to sleep. No. Yeah. We're just going to drag it down to Memorial Stadium. Drag it down. They leave the bars open all night. Do they have rickshaws in Lawrence? So, Aiden, I have said to the people, take your two and a half, go into DraftKings, take the alternate line at seven and a half, and just count your money. Just count it.
Make it rain. KU by a million. You can put four figures on that. I love it. And you know what? Make sure not to bring your pocket knife when you go in the stadium. We're going to talk about that later, too. Hey, Aiden, can I use DraftKings
In Lawrence, is that we a betting stand? It is illegal in Oklahoma and Missouri, but not Kansas. That's right. What a state. That's right. Kansas, bloody Kansas. Your prediction on the mix between K-State versus K-U fans in Memorial Stadium on Saturday morning, percentage-wise?
What's the distance? I think it's going to be 45, 65. They travel pretty well. They don't got much to do down in Manhattan. You think 45% KU fans? No, all the way around. Oh, 65 KU? I'd say more of a 75 KU, 25 K. I love it. I love it. I'm going to go $1. There's a lot of hatred going on here, and I think Lawrence is ready.
Take back the Sunflower State title. That is such a stupid name for this game. By the way, it's the Dillon Sunflower State title. The Sunflower. What did they play for? A sunflower? A bag of seeds? A bag of seeds, Brian. Listen, boys, can I get my nuts? Can I get my bag of nuts? No. Listen, boys, if you had to go up on DraftKings from two and a half, legitimately, what can KU cover? Yeah.
I'll take an old spread minus six and a half, and I'm going to make $1,000. That's it? You think we can only cover six? Okay. I'd give 10 and a half. Six and a half. I kind of like 10 and a half. K-State is not good. I'd give 10 and a half, and honestly, you know, you can put safety down at all. I'm feeling a safety this weekend. I like that. If not a safety, a solid touchback. Yeah.
Something like that. Final score. And that will be Jalen Daniels bats the ball out of the RN zone. 11 to nothing. Covered 10 and a half, baby. All right. Listen, I am looking forward to coming by the house at some point this weekend. Maybe we could get together and parlay a few dollar bills and get on DraftKings and go alternate spread. I like 10 and a half.
Yeah, we work on that. Hey, Aiden and friends, make sure to get your shopping list together. Yeah. So Papa, because Papa don't preach. Make good choices this weekend, boys. All of you. All of you. If I don't see your dad on the field at some point, I'll be pissed. Yeah.
All right. Sigmundu. Debt or alive. Sigmundu house at KU. Can't wait to see you guys. Have a great night. Thanks for calling. See you. All right. Bye. Adios. That's good stuff. They're good people. They are good people. Our next segment. My biggest fans. They are your biggest fans. They are dialed in because I actually should have put the camera just on you. Sometimes I call them your only fans.
Listen, our friend Brian, he is a connoisseur of the news. He watches multiple newscasts every night. He reads multiple papers every day. He's even been known to walk the beat. All to bring us the best news stories of the week. And he does it in a segment that we call...
Brian's Riff. Yeah, it is called Brian's Riff, and we just had a little problem with our computer over here. Oh, what a time. What a time. I got... Carl, go ahead and bring it up. Carl's on the ball. All right, here we go. There was too much research happening on fat catchers. Roberto Colon. Roberto and Bartolo Colon. You know what doesn't crash on you? Hard-printed papers. Yes, except for your outline doesn't match mine, so that's the other problem with that. That's okay. Close enough.
Donna, I saw your comment, and I know you created an alternate username, but still used your real name. Auntie Paula is... No. We're back on board. Okay. All right. Here we go. All right. Do you remember those commercials? Yes. Walter E. Smith, you dream it, we build it.
And then for a long time, their wives were on the commercials, which were way better. That's actually, I will come to that, Cal. I'm sorry. I thought the same, but they're not. Hold on. I just, I am sorry. And that was a total... Once again, I just want to apologize.
So one of their commercials actually won an Emmy, believe it or not. No way. From the adult video news? Yes. So the three brothers... Hosted by Snoop Dogg. So the three brothers, from left to right, Walter, Tim... And Smith. I'm sorry, Walter, Mark, and Tim. And Mark is playing the part of... What's the U2 guitar player's name? Edge? The Edge. They each own the company, a third each. Third to third to third. Now, Tim...
The middle brother, who ironically is on the right with the sunglasses. Oh, so not in the middle in the picture, the middle in life. Right. The clear sunglasses. There's two sunglasses. Got it. The clear sunglasses. He was in charge of marketing. Okay. Well, Kyle, Tim is now an unemployed bus driver in Wichita, Kansas. What? Are you kidding me? I am not. How? So he got bought out?
Yes. Oh, this is drama. Yes. So Tim is now an unemployed bus driver in Wichita, Kansas, but he's not finished with the company yet. All right. Hang on there, Tim. I need to know what happened. At least in his mind. So Tim recently filed a lawsuit last week in Cook County Circuit Court
alleging that his brother Walter E. Smith III fraudulently induced him to sign away his $14 million equity stake for a mere $1.8 million payout. In Wichita, Kansas, you can live for generations on that. That's on him. So in 2016, Tim signed this buyout agreement. 2016, he signed this buyout agreement. Tim now says his brother Walter...
coerced him out to make room for his four daughters. Those are all Walters. Those are daughters? Oh, I thought those were wives. I think the wives were on there for a while. I think you're right about that. I think they pushed him out because he was the weakest in the commercials. So my question is,
to Tim, the unemployed bus driver. Listen up, Tim. Why wait nine years to file the lawsuit? Are they suddenly on some big headwind of money? There's no way that company's worth $60 million. He told the Chicago...
Tribune, Tim, did that he is broke and in need of a job. I feel like this is on him. He got pissed at his brothers. He decided to leave. For sure. Like, is this a Dear Jamie? Yeah. Dear Jamie, I used to own a furniture company and I am in Wichita, Kansas. I'm going to keep tabs on this for us, but how do you sign an agreement?
go through all the money and then sue nine years later. Especially for that amount of like whatever his share was. He has no case. So he's 62 now. When he was bought out, he was 53. And the deal was he got $180,000 a year for 10 years.
Plus his million. It just ran out. Oh, that was the payout. Oh, so it just ran out. So that was a sweet deal when he... Ten years ago was a sweet deal. And now he's like, rut row. I'm driving a freaking school bus. You gotta be thinking double dip. You gotta be thinking, okay, I'm 53...
I know I'm getting $180,000 a year. Pick up a job. He did. He's a school bus driver. Apparently, he's unemployed now. He didn't say he was a good school bus driver. I don't like his chances. But I wondered, because they did sort of drop off right away. Remember those commercials? Yeah, the chicks came on. If it's possible, they were worse than the guys. They were. But Tim was the weakest actor in all the commercials. Yeah, he was. He was.
Carl, next. And surprisingly, he was the head of marketing. What are you going to do? All right. More Americans skip theaters for movies and stream instead. 100%. According to a survey of the APNORC Center for Public Affairs Research, the majority of Americans are more likely to watch newly released movies from the comfort of their own homes than
instead of heading out to a theater. Well, that's the fault of the movie production people. So when you said it already, J.D., it's not really surprising to me. And guess what? What are the two main factors for streaming at home versus going out? Okay, so I will tell you that when it's available to stream at home and it tells me it's going to cost 20 bucks...
That is much less than the $100 I would spend to go there when I get food and tickets. I'd rather watch it at home and have my own food. So cost is one of the factors. What's the other factor? Grossness of a movie theater. Ding, ding, ding. Movie theaters are gross. Convenience to stay home. Yeah, you just stay home. You got your own stuff there. You pause the movie when you want. I can pee. I can pause. I can drink.
whatever I want to drink. And I look at that rubric as well, JD, as you're like, okay, four of us go to a movie, that's like $120. It's so much now. That's without eating or drinking. So I can say, that's why that, when there's a movie out there that I actually want to see and it's like 20 bucks to download, I don't even blink at it. That's one of my questions. Okay, then I won't ask. What is the last movie you saw at the theater?
God, when I put this graphic together with Carl, I kind of thought about that. I honestly don't know. I didn't even like going to the theater back when it was reasonable. I've never loved the movie theater. I don't think I've gone to one. I did go to a 40X movie with the kids, and that was kind of fun. That's a good time. Honestly, I think, Brian, to answer your question, I honestly think the last thing I saw in the theater was
was whatever the most recently released Star Wars was. Yes. Honestly, I think that was it. Now, along that line, do you think there is going to be a must-see theater movie for you guys? Like, is there something that'll come out that you think you have to go see it in the theater? I would say no. Yeah, I'm going to agree with that. I...
Remember, it used to be a thing like Thanksgiving night. Yeah. It was a big movie night. I think I saw Titanic. And like great movies came out that night. Like Midnight, because everyone in the world saw it for two years. I think that's a thing of the past. Yeah. I don't think it's here anymore. Yeah. So Wanda and I are going on Friday nights. Oh, what a date. Where are you going to see? We're going to see that Bruce Springsteen movie that's coming out. Oh, that would be fun. With the bear. The bear is Springsteen.
Sting, sting. But that's something that's meaningful to you guys. You love it, you'll go. We're going to go to Vernon Hills because that's the safest place. And I was thinking too, I'm trying to... It costs four times as much. And Wanda, if you're still on here, I was trying to think what I saw last. I feel like
I don't know. I think it was the Lion King. The real live action. I think I saw live action Lion King. But I only went because it was 4DX. Otherwise, I do not like going to the movies. So, well...
I don't even know the name of the last Star Wars movie, but that had to be 10 plus years ago. Revenge of the Sith, I think it was. And I went also to Vernon Hills because it's safer. And at the time, that was the only place that had booze. Yes. Yeah. Hey, Bright, just side note on this. You see the two white arrows on each side? I know. I meant to get rid of them. When you send in your clips, if you could.
All right, Carl, next. All right. Have you guys heard of performative reading? Have you, Kyle? No. Okay. Apparently, on social media, there are real and staged videos of people reading at coffee shops.
on escalators, or at basketball games. Again, you heard that. Real in-stage videos of people reading. Out loud? The idea is that people want to look like they're reading without actually doing so. Why?
Because they were. Oh, Wanda says we saw Top Gun. Did we see that together? We did. Together. Did you go with us? Probably not. We did. If you don't remember, it was a great night. Who did we see Top Gun with? We saw it with somebody.
Type in fake names. Donna B236. What a great burner account she made for herself. The idea of this is people want to look like they're... Oh, sorry. The people carry around popular, renowned books to give off an ear of intellectualism or good taste. So you're a D-bag. So the reading population is weird. So I'm going to Orlando this weekend...
for a race and somebody posted in the group that I'm on, does anyone want to have a silent reading group where we all get together and read our books alone? Like the reading people are weird. No. So you all sit in the room and read your own books. It's a book club, but you're reading your own books and not talking about it. But you are naked, right? A hundred percent. So I think like people just want to make people know, hey, I read. Yeah, I am so much smarter than you. Because I like to read, but I don't want to go sit and read
Fake books or shades of gray. And you bring it up. This is actually an issue because this whole performative reading has affected actual readers. What does the word performative mean? That it's not quite real? You're holding a book. You couldn't read a book at a basketball game. How could you concentrate? I've seen parents read them at baseball games. Well, if you've been to youth baseball games, other than mine. Actual readers, JD, feel they are being judged.
actual readers feel they're being judged. And they're also, it's influencing how they read and what they read. People care too much what people think about them. That's what I was going to say. I don't give too... So you have fake, bottom line, Kyle, you have people fake reading and real readers feel like they're being judged when they read in public. What in the... What is happening? Cats getting along with dogs. One quick, oh, before you do that,
When Christina Rodney, Christina Rini, my daughter Christina Rini, when she was, I think it's Dance Connection. When I would take her to Dance Connection on a Tuesday or Wednesday, I would go to Emil's
Yes, as with every other dad that's at Dan's Connection. Yes. I would get a drink and I would actually read. Oh, my God. You're a tool. Legitimately. So you're not a tool because when I take... Thank you, Jamie. There's 50 TVs in there. When I take Smatterly to hitting in basketball, I sit in the car and I read. But you're in your car. You're not in a sports bar.
You're a dork. And that's the riff. On that note, Brian, I understand. I would read an email so no one would talk to me. We're about to flash up a new segment here because we've always wanted to know how do you get from Brian's riff...
To goofball of the week. It's always confusing. We're about to hear how right now. Are you ready? Yes. Let's do it. All right. It's halftime. Everybody pause. It's halftime. Yeah. Oh, I love this song. Oh. It's. Uh-oh. We're getting it loose for hump day. Humpity humpity hump day. Hump fact.
This is my karaoke song. What's in it? I won't do it for everyone else. You will see, my friend. It's been sitting there for one hour and two minutes. Did you know it was even there? I did because it started frosting. Oh. Oh, boy. Is that the apple? No. Will you settle down? This looks like, is this goldschlager? I'm not taking any more questions. You know what I want? You know what? A bag of nuts would go great with that.
All right, this is Humpty Hump Hump Day, halftime intermission. First you went to the left like your leg was broken. And there was a lot left. Do you have a guess on what we're drinking here, J.D.? I do. You can smell it from across the room. Cheers. Brian, if you can't figure it out, hold on a second. Let me help Brian out. Applejacks.
hit me again hit me oh boy a double half time break because i gotta get to my section here this is apple fireball it is delicious when it's been ice much better than the cinnamon i gotta tell you or the original
The OG. What do you think, JD? I agree. It's better than the OG. You don't even need apple cider with it anymore. You got a subscription. Yes, thank you, with this, right? Yes. What does that mean? I don't know. Like, they just send a bottle every week? Oh.
Amazon recommends you refill this every seven days. All right, so listen, that's our new, we're calling it Hump Day Halftime. I like it. And so you're going to have to do a shot. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. This show is taxing on one's health. Teoria Pete actually sent us a screenshot of his extra crunchy peanut butter. I did not know it existed. Have you heard of that? I have heard of that. Have him take a picture from the inside. It's peanuts. It's literally peanuts.
All right. Goofball of the week. Stupid people doing stupid things. I'm using graphics to build out the scene here. I can't wait for this one. Do you know what this is? I do know what this is. Oh, my God. Brian, do you know what this is? Have you heard of this? You needed to give Brian a heads up on this. Do I need to get my shotgun? First goofball. Take your second shot. You go in beaver hunting. Does that beaver have wings? That is the G-string. Those are underwear.
This is Kim Kardashian's new underwear line that has pubic hair on the outside of it, Brian. Why? They're cut as thongs, and they have... It's not actual pubic hair, but you can color match the drapes to the carpet if you'd like to. Why? Why?
Okay, so I actually know quite a bit about this because my TikTok has been full of this. Yes. Why? All right. So apparently big bushes are back in style. 70s. But when you've had them lasered off, you can't grow your own. Oh. So you need these kind of underwear.
And this is what she's done because all these celebrities, they buzzed everything off and now they need some bush back. Like buzzed that they can't get it. Like laser treated. But what is so funny on TikTok is people... By the way, go ahead. People keep saying, they're like, why would I pay $50 for something I can grow in a day and a half? So you could literally not grow it back at some point? Yeah, if you laser it off, it's gone. If you laser it off, it's permanent. Really? Yeah. Here's...
I didn't know any of that. You're welcome. And I'm not okay that we're back to 70s pornos. I'm not okay with that. Let me hit the second shot. Can I tell you this is where I was going with this? Which is very different than where Jamie went. But I do appreciate that input. You got it. The bearded lady. Do you know what a Merkel is? I do. A Merkel? A Merkel? No. I do.
So in the old wild west, they used to sell Merkins, which was fake pubic hair because the thought process was multifold. One, that it prevented the transmission of crabs and other STDs or STIs as they say now.
But also back in the day, back in the day, if you had syphilis, it actually caused you not to be able to grow pubic hair. And of course, in the Wild West, you wanted to have pubic hair. So you could wear one of these Merkles. Is that true scientifically? Yes. Syphilis, no hair?
Well, and you also didn't want your paying customer to know you had syphilis. That was kind of a downer. So here's what I did with kind of drawing the parallel between Kim Kardashian and the Merkle. I think if you take a good look at this guy who may have a Merkle on his face. Yeah, he has a Merkle beard. And you look at this, there's not a lot of difference. It could be the same scheme. You are right. Maybe 150 years later.
So have they, has she sold any yet? Oh, yes. People are buying these. Why? I'd wear mine outside of my pants for a joke. She also sells a bra that has fake nipples in it. Like it's all. Because people don't have nipples anymore? No, just to make it look like you have just nipples out all the time. So the idea is I'm going to wear.
like a tight shirt so you can see mine. A tight shirt so it's going to look like I have hard nipples all the time. And then I'm also going to have a giant bush. So now you want me. So you could, the idea behind those. HR might need to talk to us after this particular show. You chose this goofball. I was researched on this. So the idea behind the underwear with the
hair on it yeah is that it's supposed to show like underneath your tight shorts or no well no it's it's but i think it would it will and because like that style like the the naked style is going away and the natural style is coming back yeah but if i come if i approach you yeah and we get to that point and then eventually the underwear is coming off so the
the hair's coming off of the underwear. Yeah. Well, you'll be pleasantly surprised. Well, yeah. At that point, then you'll be like, thank God. Yeah. I bet I was not into that trend. Do they come with feces? All right. Second goofball of the week this week. That was very, more solid than I would have suspected.
I'm calling this, Brian, Knifegate. Oh. Uh-oh. Now, if you look at your outline. Is that Yosipi? That looks like one of Brian's guys of the week. That is a running rebel from Texas Tech. If you will look at your outline real quick for me, Brian, I need you to make eye contact with your outline. Okay. What is there to do in Lubbock, Texas?
Nothing. Jamie, nothing. Nothing. There's nothing to do in Lubbock, Texas. Mine says no thing. And why do I have a hairless? So if we flashback two weeks ago, Kansas played at Texas Tech. Mm-hmm.
Texas Tech has a tradition that they throw tortillas, not necessarily on the field, but they throw them around the stadium. Now, there are two schools of thought as to why they started doing this. Now, is it a corn or a flour? It is a flour for sure because they're good sized. Do they slap each other with it first? That's a good question. Do not know the answer to that. Do they have hair or that? So many follow-ups.
So here's the theory. One, theory number one for why they throw tortillas in the first place. Theory number one is they used to throw the plastic cup lids to the drinks and then Texas Tech took those away. And so this was the next best option, which is, in my opinion, a stretch. Sure.
The second theory is... But they are biodegradable. Yes. In the late 1980s, there was a game televised from Texas Tech, and one of the announcers said the only thing that there is in Lubbock, Texas, is Texas Tech's football and a tortilla factory.
which as I've described Lubbock to you is actually true. Okay. So between those two theories, are there any employees left at the factory? They came up with this thing that they're going to throw tortillas. So K is playing Texas tech. This is a, like a Frisbee. Is that how you do it? Yes. They just wing them and they go everywhere. Um,
running rebel on the right to represent Texas Tech. And they were okay with this for a while. Well, until it got out of hand and a lot of them started coming onto the field. Then you got to start talking about player safety, right? Don't want to slip on a tortilla. Worst thing ever. You get a tortilla caught in your cleats, it's the end of it. Bad news. All right, so...
So Kansas is playing them. They do the whole tortilla throw. And there is a report from the Kansas sideline by a staffer that they were hit during the tortilla throw with a pocket knife. Oh, boy. Which one immediately my mind goes to, well, I bet the blade was out and it got thrown like, you know, like an axe throw. Like a slow motion movie. There was some ill intent, perhaps. Some people called it a dagger.
And so Coach Leopold, who's on the screen here, probably not knowing better, just he was told, hey, somebody threw a pocket knife at our sideline. You take that at face value. He may have had words with the Texas Tech coach after the game about, hey, just so you know, we got hit with a pocket knife. That ain't cool. And it kind of led into a bit of an altercation because the Texas Tech coach is like, what do you want me to do about it? Yeah.
No habla. Yeah. So this makes it into the news, right? Yep. About three days after the accusation was levied, the Texas Tech... Something else was levied. The Texas Tech football program was fined $25,000 by the Big 12. Uh-huh. Kansas football also fined $25,000 by the Big 12. Oh, shoot.
So what they were able to do is they were able to go back and splice together video to see where did the pocket knife come from? Slow motion. Yes. And it appears. This is a Bruterville. It appears that the pocket knife fell out of the pocket of a Kansas employee.
who then someone else then picked it up on the sideline and made the accusation against Texas Tech that it had been thrown. So it wasn't even thrown. It was already down there. It was already there. So KU had to pay a fine for disparaging a fellow Big 12 institution. But then why did Texas have to pay anything? Because they were throwing tortillas on the field. They now have banned that tradition. No more tortillas. So if you thank anybody for taking a...
taking a past time away from Texas Tech it's now Kansas what correct what a terrible time and that's the end of goofball week oh my gosh those were some good ones I came so researched for that first one oh my gosh you do a little bit more of the pubic hair you have
pubes and topic, I will know about them. Next to you, Brian. We are so having a meeting with HR after this show. Alright, Brian, what's our next segment called? Dear JB, the people crave direction.
They are blind and want to see. That's why. That's why we ask J.D. Why does that sound like that? I don't know. Do you like that better? I'm not...
Sure. I don't love it. It sounds less. It's less God-like. No, it's less devil-y. Oh, yeah, baby, they're blind and want to see again. That's why we ask. I feel like we went from God to Satan asking for my help. Not sure what's going on here.
But here we are. Oh, we got three good ones. Oh, my God. There's three of them. We're going to go two hours. It's all right. Our camera just went out. Why did our camera go out? You're welcome. It's like you are done. Dear, it's your camera, JD. I'll fix it. You do your segment. I'll fix it. I'm okay. I'm okay. Carl, I'm on it. I am the mother of a wild child. The other day, she ran into our house and asked for a Band-Aid.
because her friend scraped his knee. The boy had what I would describe as the most gnarly gash I've seen since I left the military. The cut missed major blood vessels, but at least... On his knee? There's no major blood vessels on your knee. At least partially severed a tendon.
What? We sent a messenger to his mom. I don't know if that was like a pigeon. Treated him for shock and covered the wound. Okay. But didn't really do anything medical. When mom showed up, I did the magic trick of distracting the boy while showing mom how bad it was. I offered to watch her other kids until she can get a family member or sitter they knew.
Turns out they had a grandma over, so I wasn't needed. Perfect. The next day we found a thank you note and a $100 gift card in our mailbox. I don't think I did anything worthy of that. I think I did the bare minimum required of a human being and did not expect anything from it. My question is,
When my own daredevil scrapes her knees this way, is there a reference guide on how to express gratitude to the bystander or first responder? Does the dollar amount of the gift card change depending on the severity of the injury? I have to interrupt before you start. Before you start. Yes.
What was the orange stuff that your parents used to put on your... Oh, Bectine. Bectine. Bectine. That burnt like a motha. If you didn't put that on there, you don't deserve a gift card. Okay. So, first of all, if she got a gift card, that's great. But this sounds like it was a pretty severe injury. Well, a major vessel in the knee, which is all the way through... This means this kid's leg was dangling off of him. So maybe that parent did...
wanted to be nice and be like... Save the lower leg. Did you tourniquet the quad? But I don't... But her question is kind of like... It's kind of bitchy. Yes. It really is. Like, so she... This sounds like it was not a normal... Like, the kid fell down and scraped his leg. It sounds like he fell down and his leg about ripped off. Maybe gotten a wood chipper of some sort. Correct. Correct.
So the fact that those parents were just like, here's a gift card instead of like, we're suing you because this happened at your house. Yeah, I would take that as a win. Super nice. And if it happens to her kid, evaluate the situation. Yeah, I don't know if there's like a monetary price. She sounds like a real shitty person. It's a win. It's a win to get a gift card out of that. Yeah, like something bad happened to your house.
Hell yes. You do. And then if you want to be kind, you spend on something with them. You're like, hey, come over. We do it. Hell no. Well, you don't. But you could. You could if you were worried that they gave you something you don't deserve. But she's being real snooty about it. There was a lot of colorful, pardon me, there was a lot of colorful, like,
Banter. Banter. Thank you. Describing what was going on and then this and that. It sounded like this kid's leg was falling off. Well, a major injury to the major vessel in the knee. And she had to distract him. Which is the femoral artery, which is way down in the knee. Because she started saying he needed a band-aid and then said his arteries...
So yeah, sure. She got a gift card for that. And then she's like, well, what should I do if my kid has an injury? Let's hope you don't need to worry about that. Let's just move on. Be like, thank you. That was nice of you. Move on. Dear JD. I wish I liked any of these people. My daughter is in a committed relationship with a partner. Okay. My daughter insists that she will never get married.
They have bought a house and have a child together. Same difference. We live nearby and see them often, providing backup child care is needed. They both have good jobs. Their money is separate. They pay for things separately and have elected to not set up a joint account for household expenses. And this is none of your business.
Not my concern or problem, she says. It seems to be. Except that my husband and I gifted them $20,000 at the end of the year last year. No strings attached. Why did you give it to them and not her? You give that to her. It is for their household family. My daughter informed me six months later that they never cashed the check. And I think I would know if I wrote a $20,000 check and for six months it wasn't cashed.
And it is a problem because they do not have a joint account. So apparently it was in both names. Well, then you ask them to rewrite it. I offered to give them both a separate check or provide a bank transfer, but this was also a problem. If you want to give money to the partner, go ahead.
Essentially, she does not want a joint gift. Who said that? The daughter. She doesn't want 20K. I'll take it. She doesn't want any going to her partner. Send that to BS from a basement. I got an answer. Essentially, she does not want a joint gift as this is too much...
Like presuming them to be married. Oh, God. Don't draw that line. Don't draw that line there. I'm about ready to send a large donation to a charity and call it a day. Have you heard ever of this level of ingratitude? Am I reading the room wrong? Well, your daughter's a... Signed billionaire. A word that starts at B and has five letters. Oh, damn. Rhymes with itch.
Yes. Rhymes with stitch. But if you want to give them this gift of $20,000, your easy way to do it is write the check to your daughter. You already know they have all of these different lines in the sand and stuff. So if you want to give them $20,000,
Give it to just her and then hopefully she'll split it across the family. Buy a savings bond for their kid if they won't cash it. But if I was her, I would hang on to my 20K. You don't want it? Boom. That's what I would say. I'm like, if your problem is you can't cash this check because your partner that you live with and have kids with, you don't want him or her on the check?
then fine. I'll give you $10,000. Take the other $10,000 back. Yeah. Right. Seems like a simple... Why are we making this a big problem? It's not a problem. As Jamie just exhibited, very straightforward. Yes. Here's what I would do. Boom, boom. By the way, Jamie's had two glasses of wine. I have had one glass of wine. And four shots of fireball.
One glass of wine. All right, one more. To call that a glass is generous. Short and sweet. It's my weekly glass. You just told us Bushes were back in style. One more short and sweet. And I can't wait to hear Kyle's. Can't wait to hear your wife's birthday Christmas gifts. He's going to step on you here, J.D. Dear not happening here. Dear J.D., I have two friends who never initiate calls or plans.
I've discussed it with both. One promises to do better but never does. The other tells me that she doesn't call anybody, but I can call her anytime. I struggle, however, with thinking that actions speak louder than words. How do I fight feelings of hurt and rejection?
If they don't want to hang out with you, they don't want to hang out with you. I think they're trying to tell you something. You kind of just move. You've got to find something else to do. I forgot, signed, uncalled. If your friends don'T want to hang out with you, they don't want to hang out with you, take the hint.
Find new friends. They may be telling you something right now. Find some of those book readers that are reading their books and hang out with them. Or are they? Or are they? In their new Kardashian G-strings. Bush. Find those bushlings. Head for the mountain.
All right, our last segment of the night, and what a night it's been. It's brought to us by Manly Bands. Manly Bands with unique materials like dino bone, meteorite, historic military materials, and much more. Go to manlybands.com, a band for every man. Manlybands.com, say no to...
to boring. Manly bands. Oh, yeah. And Jamie already told you. Oh, yeah. Why pay full price when you can pay 75% of the price? Such a better option. It's such a better option is just to repeat what JD said there. Yes. All right. Bri.
All right. So, what we have going on now, babies, is know your high school nicknames. Nice work there, Carl. Very nice. We're going to do this a little bit different today. We're going to give you the high school, the city, and the state. And we just want the...
Mascot. Okay. And then we're going to give us the city, the high school, and the state. I like the mix-up. Yes. Okay. And then I'm going to give you a little bit of info. But can I, before you do it, we always like to take a blind guess before you go after it. All right. So this is either like a cardinal or a...
Pope with boxing gloves on. I was going to say the fighting popes. But I want you to draw your attention to the B-E-H-S. I can tell you for sure that E means East. This is like Bethlehem East High School. Fighting popes.
The punching cardinals or something like that. The boxing cardinals. I tell you, you guys are all over it. Okay. But you don't have a right. Oh, shoot. Does a combination of us have it, right? So the B-E-H-S. Yes. Bishop England High School. Damn. Bishop.
Fighting bishops. In Charleston, South Carolina. Okay, hold on. The name of the city is what? Bishop. Oh, the city is Charleston, South Carolina. Charleston, South Carolina. The high school is Bishop England High School. Bishop England. Got it. And we just have to come up with the name of the mascot. You're reaching a little high with Pope and Cardinal. Oh, they're lower in the church. I don't know that. Priest. Don't go to deacon. Boxing priests. The punching priests.
The fighting bishops. No, bishops too high. No, you got part of it. You do have bishops is correct. See? And it's not the boxing bishops. No, let's think of the fighting bishops. You're not wrong. So there is alliteration with the boxing. It's with the B. Battling bishops. Oh! That's my first win ever. Yes. The battling bishops...
of Bishop England High School in Charleston, South Carolina. Bishop England High School, Kyle, is a Roman Catholic four-year school and is the largest private high school in South Carolina. What do you think the enrollment of the largest Catholic high school? The full enrollment? No, hell no.
625. Oh, 730. Oh, Price is Right rules. That's a win. So the school was founded in 1915 and was named for John England, the first bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese in Charleston, South Carolina. I feel like you dumbed this down so I could win, Brian, and I really appreciate that. You're welcome. I appreciate that. Where's my nuts?
Is that right? Not a lot of Catholics in Charleston? No, there's a ton. Really? They're all over the place. Bible Belt, baby. Interesting. But not the Catholic Belt. Did you have any interesting facts about Bishop England High School? Yeah, the school was founded in 1915. It was named for John England, the first bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese in Charleston. He hit us with that. I feel like I heard that before. He hit us with that. All right. Good times.
Always a bishop. Oh, sorry. I'm supposed to say, as they say in Charleston, South Carolina, once a bishop, always a bishop. That's a rat, boys. I gotta go to confession. Another epic live stream for who? The people.
I got to hold on because our thing's got to recycle. Wow, our thing. Whose thing? Kim Kardashian's thing. Yes. All right. Do you think they wear that underwear? That's cool. Possibly. I hope not. All right. Hey, when you're on about, do something good out there, everybody. We love you guys.
See you next time.