BS from a Basement

BS from a Basement Ep80

Episode Transcription

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Hello! Wow, like paparazzi. That was impressive. I only did that because Brian made a face when I started to talk.

I wanted to stay in his ear. Did I? He couldn't hear himself. I was following the Cubs game. That's why I made it. Hey, welcome to BS from a basement. From a basement. From a basement. It's brought to you by Get Some Sports 13 TV for the best in local high school athletics, AAU basketball, intercollegiate volleyball, and club volleyball on YouTube, Facebook Live, Spotify, Audible, Pandora, Apple, and Amazon.

And right of center brewery. Brewed with humility. Did you hear him practicing that? That was good. That was good. You didn't hear me earlier? Yes. Locally brewed in Pax Lakeville, Illinois. Try one of those bad boys today. You want to be disappointed. You shan't. You shan't be disappointed. And don't forget, 25% off at Manly Bay.

using promo code GetSomeSports13 at checkout. What? That was hard to follow your Transylvanian accent. It feels like this show is going to be a little giddy with all the already talking a lot kind of stuff. That's good stuff, everybody. It's so hot in here, that's why. It's probably too hot. Do you think my air conditioner is broken? The fall weather has us invigorated, I feel like. No.

It's just hot in the studio. Somebody cleaning an oven. Carl. Damn it, Carl. All right. A little business for everybody. No, no business. We can just want to get into the shots. I mean, cheers. Toast. Toast. I mean, just innocent little toast. Sure. Sure.

It almost sounds like we've been drinking for about three hours already. Fireball. All right. We are going to officially taste test Fireball Apple. We are kicking off ball. Is this bad bunny? No. This is Pitbull. Oh. Fireball Apple. Oh, Pitbull would tear up a bunny. It could be totally nasty or it could be good.

It looks interesting. It looks like it's got floaties in it. It looks like Goldschlagers. It kind of does, doesn't it? Maybe that's real bits of apples, so you know it's good. By the way, save room because there's enough in here for two. It smells appley. Wow, it is appley. Appalicious.

All right. The official taste test of BS from a basement. What is that crap in there? I think it's just a little micro bubbles. Do I have to chew this? Possible. All right. The official BS from a basement taste test of Fireball Apple. We'll see what we think of this crap. Cheersies. Cheers. Do we have to? Plinkies. Drinkies.

Actually not bad. It's pretty good. I agree. I'm not going to complain about that. I like it better than the original. You can taste the cinnamon at the end, but the apple takes away the grossness at the front. I think there's a little bit of a caramel flavor to it. There is at the end. Just in case that one was a fluke, let's have you try it. I'm okay with it.

Yeah, that one, I thought I was going to hate it. Now I'm warm. That one's real hot in here. Well, the other one's kind of, it's almost like Listerine to me. No, it's just good. It's just good stuff. Just good. There's a lot less cinnamon to this one. The apple definitely dominates the flavor palette. I like how the flavor changes throughout. It's apple.

then some cinnamon and caramel at the end. Some people say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I would call this almost an apple pie shot. I would agree with you. They took away the need for apple cider to mix with it. I still like it. That one

had more cinnamon to me. Yeah, that one did. Did we get the bottom of the bottle? Maybe so. Maybe you need to swirl it around. That one was spicier. Alright, so what's the official review of the panel on Fireball Apple? I like it. Not bad. Not too shabby. Of the two original in this one, I would do Apple all day. Agreed. Agreed. That was a good ad. Turns out when I say all day from down under the table, you can't really hear it.

hear me on it. I forgot to hit record on the... That's okay. I was so excited for the fireball. Oh, on the show? Yeah. Well, podcast will be out in a couple days. Damn it. All right. Listen, people, if you want to call and talk to us, totally awesome. Call my cell phone. If you don't know my phone number, do not fear. Go on Snapchat. Go on to

Friend us at GetSomeSports13 and you can use the Snapchat feature to call in, the Snapchat call-in feature to call us and we'll talk to you. If you want to type, you're on Facebook Live right now watching this. Type something in the comments. It'll go into the control room and Carl will get it. Same is true for YouTube. Type your comments.

and then we'll bring them up and you can be famous on the screen. How about that? Fantastic. All right, Brian, what is the Cubs update? It is the top of the eighth, two outs. The Brewers have the bases loaded. And the Cubs are up 4-3. Bottom of the eighth, you say? Top of the eighth. Oh, is it at Riggs?

Yes. Oh. Yeah, it is at Wrigley tonight. I bet that's hopping right now. Oh, it's got to be nuts down there. Hopping. All right. So just a little question for you. Today's date with the year. Yes. What is it? 10-8-1-0-0-8-2-5. Oh.

Like 10 October 8th, 2025? October 8th, 2025. Thank you, Jamie. Seemed like a lot of work made hard. I thought you were trying to say it was like something fancy with the numbers. I don't know. I just wanted to confirm for the people. Today is the 8th of October, 2025. Only to say tomorrow night is our Christmas party from 2024. I love celebrating Christmas in October. Yeah. So the...

The Get Some Sports 13 has taken the crew out for a Christmas party almost a full year late. That's the time to do it because you haven't celebrated anything in quite some time. Keep going. We got out of the inning. Oh. Four, three. Going into the bottom of the eighth. Fantastic. We're going to need some insurance runs. All right.

I just thought that was funny. Thank you for providing the date. What time is that? I thought you were saying it was like a backwards-forwards number. I was trying to guess. May the 4th be with you? Yes. Apparently, we have to make our own dinner, and that process starts at 6 o'clock. Okay. They will crack the boxed wine at 6 o'clock. Can we bring our own wine? No. Negative. You must drink boxed. It's not boxed. You can't

bring wine there? No. You'll live. We have what's called a minimum that we need to fulfill. So you don't need to be bringing your own wine. Brian's going to bring his own wine and food. I'm eating Uncrustables and I'm having Shiraz. And a $100 bottle or a $100 bill. Our first segment is brought to us by Brian's underwear. They're short, white, tight, and they fit just right. Brian's underwear.

And on that note, it's time to celebrate some famous birthdays and National Thing Day. Boom. Boom. So, it's good news today on the birthday front. Both people are alive. Oh, thank goodness.

birthday is today wow it hasn't happened yet they're twins they must be twins not twins also it'd be weird if they were twins it's the two girls from full house the olsen twins i wish i did one on each olsen that would be awesome and they're the exact same clues and we miss them both you're like they sound familiar all right first one alive today

Love it. I don't even know what that last one is. I mean,

when you think only you are important and nobody else is and everyone else is wrong all the time. You know what that is, Kyle. Jason! He thought he was all that when he started his television career on Nickelodeon in his teens and then shortly went on after to host his own show. Okay. He definitely has

talent just like much of America and became the youngest staff writer on a TV series in history at the age of 17. What's his name? Howie Mandel is not 45. He's too old. Alright, this is the last one. He had

12 kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the guy that's backstage. Including two with Mariah Carey. What's his name? Oh, he was in Drumline. Yes. Nick Cannon. You got it, Brian. Good job. We worked together on that one. That was a team. That felt good. Half point apiece, Carl. Doesn't he have 12 kids by six women or something like that? Yeah, he spreads the well. At least six women. He's got a lot of them. But he also has a lot of jobs and a lot of jobs.

lot of disorders and he must he must have a lot of what do you call it child sport i was not sure where you were going with that and um he doesn't he seems like a pretty normal dude when he's doing his thing backstage heavily medicated i maybe maybe that's how he got all these ladies maybe he's hashtag overcome possible as well could be but i i've heard

that all these women that like mother his children know he's not going to stay around but they also know the check's going to come so it makes good sense but it's written backwards and he forgets where he lives yes yeah yeah everything's written to his name but that's your fault because he's a narcissist every right's right to left yeah and everything says pay to nick cannon all right this next one this famous actor again

birthday today, he's alive, turned 81 today. He was the first person to ever say, live from New York, it's Saturday night. 81? You think you know already? Hold that thought. He was the subject of a comedy roast in 2002, but was so sad afterwards that he sobbed in his hotel room the entire night.

Tom Brady's not 81. He's not 81. It's the dude that produces the show. It's got to be. Keep going. When things are hard and seem to be nothing but trouble, he takes a breath and tells himself, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball. Oh, I know.

I know that. You know that now. Yeah. Double C's. Were you right from the first one? Yeah, Chevy Chase. Yep, you got it. Also a wedding venue in the northwest suburbs where you were married. That's where I was married. Yes. Hooray. Wow, what a tie-in, Brian. Nice work. Circle of life. It all comes back to me. Diarrhea. On that note.

We're going to move into National Thing Day so we know what we can be celebrating today. And first off, it is National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work or School Day, which I'm sure you both did. Why don't you text us this morning and tell us that? I know, it's too late. I painted a pumpkin. At work? Yes. Oh, that was nice. It has nothing to do with this, but it's very nice. Did you paint a teddy bear on it? No. All right, it is celebrated on the second Wednesday of October.

and is meant to bring peace and comfort to people because that's what teddy bears bring to you sure do you get to remind people that everyone deserves to be comforted wow how did the teddy bear get its name something to do with roosevelt teddy roosevelt you are right he went out on a hunting trip and there was a bear that the dogs and everyone had cornered and he refused to

shoot it. Did he hug him? That's how his life ended. And then they made fun of him. And he's a rough rider. And now that bear wins the fat bear of the week contest. And so your way to celebrate is to actually bring your teddy bear to

a worker school, but the second option was to have a sleepover, which I thought was an odd way to celebrate this day. Oh. Well, because you want to cuddle and comfort. You want to cuddle and snuggle. Brown chicken. It just got dirty. Brown chicken, brown cow. And this next one is near and dear to my heart. Yeah.

It is National Pet Obesity Day. A fact for the listeners, I have never gone to the vet without being told that any of my three dogs are fat. And I go to the same vet and I can say the same and she tells me I'm fat as well. They've been called large.

round mound, big boned, fatty patty, chunky, all the words, full bodied. This doctor not so much into the psychology help. No, she doesn't want them to feel good about themselves. No, but this is a reminder that pets come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes sizes get out of hand. And gosh darn it, people like me. And so on this day you can celebrate by knocking

This is an anti-pet day. This is the worst day ever. Play the Sarah McLaughlin song. Stop being fat. What percentage of dogs and cats are clinically

overweight well how many of them go to our doctor i would say 32 percent price is right i'm gonna go 40 it's 50 percent yeah yes wow but that's kind of like how like the obesity scale too like yeah yeah just fat yeah but my dog they're put together but they're heavy i mean a lot of mass yeah like tillie she's like 30 pounds and the doctor's like what she's

really be like 28 oh shut your mouth right exactly that's like a dog almost one in two pets fat it's that equates to 49 million fat dogs what's kennedy gonna do what's kennedy gonna do by it oh oh this is so out of hand that in 1998 the guinness book of world records stopped reward

people for having the fattest dog. Oh, you used to be able to get in that way. Not anymore. Yeah, it's freaking hot in here. In 2011, pet obesity was labeled an epidemic. In what year? 2011. What do they label humans the fat epidemic? That's when you started calling people fat just outright. Right out of the path.

got labeled all right last quiz on this one the world's fattest dog which was a dachshund named obi went on a diet yes how much weight did he lose well i actually think i know this go ahead yeah like a wiener dog hey viener fattest like by perk not per capita because i can't think of the word so like he was as fat as you could be for a dachshund i'm gonna say he lost

25 pounds i think it was more like 42. it was 50. he was 77 pounds so he had to look like his skin was gonna explode i think he just drug his belly over the ground to help fight the epidemic i got you guys balls balls to play with your dogs or yourself hey bry bry you're a good boy you're a good boy get your ball get your ball get your ball i had to take

Take a break. Oh, but he squeaked. That might be worse than getting food for Brian. Yes, yes. Well, the fact that he squeaked it when it was in his mouth was the biggest problem. So I'm going to go home and celebrate my fat dogs. Oh, your dogs are cute. And fat. Well, I think that's what makes them cute. Probably it does.

All right, that's a solid segment every time. It is 132 degrees in the studio. Why? I might go skins in a minute here. Stay tuned, everybody. Look at the viewership that Nielsen just said. You thought you were worried about tank top day. That just went off like a countdown. All right. All right, so that takes us to the BS from a basement sports section, which we have no music for since Live Golf is over.

I don't play this anyway. Yeah. So what we've been doing is a little college football placing our wagers. I can report last week we were at 33% success rate. We still haven't gotten better than that. And the only game that hit was my Kansas game. You lost Iowa State and you lost Texas over there.

big boy we got to be better than that we should be better on these damn it arch manning but now i can report for two weeks in a row we're 100 on the biggest line we could find but this one was close so last week oklahoma played kent state the line was 45 and a half oklahoma won 44 to nothing oh it was close were you

sweating while you were watching it a bit of a squeaker a bit of a squeaker i'm not sure anybody watched that game i couldn't turn it off brian i couldn't wait to find out if we won yes all right so now the way we do this this is called the anti-pala sports segment we read off four games that you can choose from and then we circle back and you give me your choices so

So let me read through them and you can pick your games. All right, here we go. First matchup. Number one, Ohio State. Da Buckeyes. Versus ILL INI. This is from Champaign, Illinois. Illinois, early 14 and a half point lead. Oh.

Game number two, Alabama versus Missouri. This is coming to us from Columbia. Alabama is giving Missouri only three and a half points. That's an interesting spread in my opinion. Is that the country in South America? Columbia, yes. They're playing one overseas. They're coming up here. Yeah.

Coffee. Next one. Number seven, Indiana. Da Hoosiers. Versus Oregon. Da Ducks. From Eugene. Oregon spotting Indiana seven and a half. I kind of would call that the game of the week. I think that's a pretty intriguing. That would be a good one. It's an intriguing matchup. Will you wear your Oregon sweatshirt? You know I will. Not if it's as hot as it is in here right now, I won't. You might have to. And your Nikes. Yeah.

And your Nike. That's true. Nike everything. Except for my Brian's underwear that I wear. And your current shirt you have on. Yes. Last one. Rock Chalk Jayhawk. Coming to us from number nine, Texas Tech.

- The Red Raiders. - Yes, from Lubbock. And you guys, do you know what there is to do in Lubbock, Texas? - Nothing. - Nothing. There's not a damn thing to do in Lubbock, Texas. - Couldn't you hang out with Matthew McConaughey? - You could, but he's in Austin, Texas.

Oh, my bad. Yeah. KU catching 14 and a half. That is disrespectful. I am taking KU to cover, and I'm also taking KU to win outright. Panel, what say you? I'm taking the same game, but I am taking the Red Raiders. The Red Raiders to cover 14 and a half. Yeah, they're going to be good. Okay.

I think the Ducks are going to put it on the Hoosiers. So you think the Ducks are winning by eight or more? Yes. Oregon to cover is Brian's bet. Now, listen, people, you can call in and opine on any of these wagers if you would like to. We'd love to have you do so. We haven't heard from anybody in forever. So, yeah, call in and let us know. Let us know your picks. Top of the night, Cubs up 4-3.

They're going to lose in the bottom of the ninth. Kristin Yelich. This is about the time they like to peg people. Yes. Start hitting people. All right. Our last segment is called the biggest line I can find. Cubs win. Cubs win. Shut up. Yes. Wow. Go Cubs go. No, you hit the line out. I mean, let's be honest. They can't let them get swept. Yeah. This is fixed. So suddenly tomorrow night got interesting. Maybe the Christmas party is going to get cut short. What time?

How long does that start? 8.08. 6 o'clock, 8.08 game. Let's cook quick. We've got to roll our pasta quickly and eat our steaks fast. Start making it tonight. All right. The biggest line I can find. This is brought to you by the CGSA, the cocoa plant growers of South America, turning basic chemistry into terrible life choices since forever. Completely and totally.

All right. The biggest line that we could find this week comes to us from Oxford, Mississippi. Jamie, I don't know if you know this or not. The Old Miss mascot? Da Cougars. No. That's Washington State. That's Washington State. Whoops. That's on me. I put you on the spot. You did. All right. Old Miss versus Washington State. Jamie, Washington State? Oh, yeah. They're Da Cougars. Da Cougars. I was not paying attention to the question. That's okay. That's okay.

Obviously. The line on this one is Ole Miss by 32 and a half. So it's a matter of do you think the Cougars are that bad? And I actually think the answer to that is yes, they are. I think I don't think that Washington State can hold on to 32 and a half. I'm taking Ole Miss to cover. What do you guys like? So I'm always going to choose the Cougars. The tough choice.

is deciding whether I want the Ole Miss Cougars or the Washington State Cougars. So this time I'm going to go with the Washington State Cougars. So I think that Ole Miss may put up 60 in this game. And Washington State, like Oregon State, the Pac-2, have really had some

issues. Not good at all. Do they even have a win between the two of them this year? But yeah, I'm going to go with Ole Miss by 100. Alright, so this is not going to be a 100% hit rate next week. We've mixed it up a bit. We have. But we could be better than 33%. We can always be better. The Ole Miss running rebels, J.D. Running rebels.

Cougars. Rebel Yells. They're rebranding you. Billy Idol. You just haven't heard about it. All right. Our next segment. Our buddy Brian, just to set this up for the people, he is a connoisseur of the news. He will go out and he'll walk the beat.

He will watch multiple newscasts every night. He reads multiple papers every day for the sole purpose of bringing the people entertainment. He brings us the best stories of the week in a little segment that we call Brian's Riff. Riff, a.k.a. First Amendment. So, J.D.?

and Kyle you were calling someone for a moment there the beeps and buzzes of AOL's dial-up service have gone silent no just now oh who are the last people to have AOL dial-up we're gonna get there okay Kyle you remember this sound right hell yes this is how I know it's I'm

old that is going away. It's official. Why we had to get called waiting. Right? It's official. Get off the phone. AOL pulled the plug on its dial-up service last Tuesday. Oh, hard to believe. AOL, formerly America Online, introduced many households to the World Wide Web, rising to prominence in the early, I'm sorry, in the 90s

in early 2000s. You brought it up already. Remember getting kicked off because of the phone call or the phone line? How about those frigging CDs that they used to mail out? Remember those CDs? Yes. What was the alternative to AOL? Because I never had AOL. I had the competitor. Didn't gateway computers have their own logon, I think? We didn't have AOL, I don't think. Yeah.

Maybe we did. We didn't have it. I don't know. I used Gateway, and I would log in every night and hear that sound, and then I would start downloading Napster files. And by morning, I had two or three of them downloaded. Here come the police. Yep. So, eventually, of course, broadband and wireless offerings rose to dominance over dial-up. So, the latest data...

data available, which was 2023, how many households were using dial-up to get online? Two. In 2023? Yes. God, doesn't it seem like it's like 10 years past? I would have thought that this went away a long time ago. I have to give you the number of households using dial-up. Yes. Oh, so we can actually, like, okay. As of 2023. I don't think AOL keeps in business if it's not at least a million people. I was going to say

27,000. Oh, okay. 163,401. I'm going to give that to JD. So it prizes right rules. So now I guess they're back in the story. What was even keeping them around because their email address was free? Yeah. I guess they didn't want to pay for

And no one goes to AOL.com. No, but what was keeping AOL? Was there just one guy who would, like, connect? There's still clients that have AOL email addresses. In other news, 23,000 people just subscribed to the Tennessee Gazette. Yeah, exactly. Appalachian. All right. Moving along.

So I'm not sure if you heard this one, but Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones apparently can't control his hand movements. Yes, I saw this. He meant to give a thumbs up to fans last week at the Cowboys Jets game. But instead, Jamie, J.D., flashed the bird. He did not.

That is such a lie. Hey, you kids at home, that's the middle finger. I'm going to tell you that is something that Duke would say to me. Like, I meant the thumbs up. I saw the video on this. He looks down at people and does the thumbs up and then he points at one guy and goes, so this is a total baloney. That's like from that one movie where he's like,

f you f you f you you're cool so again it's the middle finger kids not the thumb and what's being called an inadvertent obscene gesture which resulted in a 250 000 dollar fine by the nfl jones says it was accidental saying i quote there wasn't any antagonistic issue or any

like that i just put up the wrong show on the hand unquote i am gonna tell you don points to things with his middle finger and and he has always done this and we tell him like you probably shouldn't so maybe he has this maybe he's from mckenry now have you ever heard of uh husband does aim point with the middle finger which i've never seen before we also laugh at that have you heard of ever heard of any

hand gesture referred to as the show? No. But when you're Jerry Jones, everything's the show. So, just so you're aware, for my own part, I stood in front of the mirror this morning and I gave 10 thumbs up in a row. Just to practice. Never once did my middle finger come up. That's smart. That's smart, though, to check it out. Picture you doing this in a towel. On top of his head. By the way,

Inadverting obscene gesture? What would the intentional obscene gesture cost? Well, it would be a double bird, obviously. It costs 500 grand. If you can coordinate two hands, then it's on purpose. It's 250 per bird. Hey, vehicle I just cut off. I meant to give you the thumbs up, but I accidentally gave you the bird. My bad. What is the most current generation called? Are they Generation Z, Generation Y?

What are they called? I actually don't know the answer to that. There's a follow-on story to this, Bri, and you can look it up and maybe report back on next week's show. They're starting to say that thumbs up is offensive. I don't know why they say it's offensive. They think everything is offensive. That's why. That's true. But maybe we could get a follow-up segment on why thumbs up would possibly be offensive. The okay sign ended up turning into something bad, didn't it? Like if you gave the okay? If you saw someone do an okay,

then they could punch you before you touched a doorknob is what that was. That was wildly specific. From my understanding. I know if you wave at people in the UK, they think that's offensive. Everything is offensive to somebody. I just got offended looking at this picture. Follow up on that. Toyota issues a recall over...

Oh, God forbid you'd have to look in your mirrors. Nobody knows how to do that anymore. So it's obviously, to me, nice to have it working. But I always thought the rear camera was sort of a nice-to-have.

It's not anymore though. It's a requirement. Versus like brakes or airbags. Now have we really gotten too reliant on this technology? Can you back up without a camera? I sure can. But there were thousands of people frozen in their driveway. Couldn't go to work. Couldn't go to work because they couldn't do it. They're calling in. Oh no. I'm sorry my backup camera's broken. Now as part of my backup process, I do glance at it to make

sure there's nothing right behind me yeah which is a nice touch but i could i could back up from here to my house without a back i don't look at it when i back up because i'm not this is gonna make me sound stupid but i get like confused it's like watching a video game yeah it's like a mirror right left left is right i don't know where am i going um i can parallel park without using the backup camera bry how about you oh i never use it yeah i can too i live

in the city for five years. The other thing is you think about when you lane change. Some of the cars in my house have that blind spot indicator and other cars don't. I'm thinking, can you ever really trust that little light? My kids all freak out when I look over my shoulder before I change the lane because they don't know what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. That's how you did

before you had a little blinky light. And I feel like you should still do it. Yeah, 100%. Maybe that didn't work today. Yeah, how much do you trust the technology? I don't like AI either. We all know that. We all know it on the show. Back to the stone ages for all of us. What if the machines want us to lane change in the show? We're playing right into their hands. All right, and finally, the mayor and the assembly

in a Japanese city of nearly 68,000 people passed an ordinance that went into effect on 10-1 that limits the use of smartphones, tablets, game consoles, and computers to two hours per day. What? Exactly. They actually passed this ordinance. Now,

It turns out it's largely symbolic. Yeah, okay. How are they policing them? Because authorities will not track resident smartphone use, and there will be no actual penalties for exceeding the two-hour threshold. Sorry, did you say this is just for kids or for everybody? The whole city. Okay. How do you work? Oh, burned.

Take that. So people say, why pass this at all if you're not going to enforce it? Well, apparently in Japan, there is heavy social pressure to follow official guidelines. So they hope people, I quote, will have less screen time and spend more time with their families.

They're rule followers. I love Japan. Of course, many people disagree with this government interference. Currently... It's not really interference, though. They're just like, this is what you are supposed to do. But we're not going to interfere and make you do it. They will do it, though, is the point. They will, because if you don't, they'll

flush your firstborn down the toilet. They'll ninja you. That might be a little okay. That is neither, that is not supported by the owners. They'll ninja you. That's way worse. Ninja's not even Japan. Isn't that Korea? No, ninja. No, it's, what are the Japanese

Rule followers. No, the samurai. They'll samurai you. Sorry, I apologize. Wait, I have that loaded up. Hold on. Once again, I just want to apologize. Okay. So currently, see how fast I got to that.

JD and Kyle, what's the average time spent by a school-age kid in Japan on smartphones a day? Six hours. Well, when did the thing pass? Well, currently. This is before. Before the rule. Kyle, two hours. No, I'm going to say three hours. Oh, price rate rules, five hours. Boom. They're good people. And that's the riff.

They're good people in Japan. They're not ninjas, but they're good people in Japan. I meant to say samurai. Sorry. Ninja. So close. All right. We've got to find a transition for this segment of the show. We've needed that for a long time because I don't even know where my...

My next little button is. Oh, right. Great success. For your riff. It was a good riff. Oh, it was a good riff. Thank you. Provocative. Appreciate that. Gets the people going. All right, that takes us into a little segment that we call Goofball of the Week. This is stupid people doing stupid things. I got a couple for you guys this week. All right, let's hear them. Numero uno.

Yes, this is the same person. Get a good look at that, Brian. Is one the mugshot? One is the mugshot on the right. On the left is the actress that they hired. That's not a bad mugshot. It is if you look at the comparator. Look at that up close. That's not even the same person. Look how puffy your eyes are. And look at how puffy your lips are.

Well, you try drinking a bottle of bourbon and getting arrested. All right. So this is where this is. This is Catherine Dennis. Challenge accepted. Catherine Dennis is an actor on a show called Southern Comfort that I have never heard of. Have you ever heard of that? Southern Charm?

No, Southern Charm was a... Oh, it is Southern Charm. Southern Comfort's the drink. That's her problem. That's what I'm drinking right now. That's her problem. She's on a show called Southern Comfort. That is what she was drinking. Is it a reality show? I have no idea. I've never heard of it. Huh. I'm going to look that up. Southern Charm is the name of the show. She, I assume, was casted when she looked like the lady on the show.

the left. Was she president? Four years later? She makes $25,000 per episode. She was on the show from 2014 to 2023, which AI tells me was over 100 episodes. That's a lot of episodes. So if we do some math on that, you're a math person. It's about $2.5 million, yes? You're right on the nose. $250,000.

a year roughly 250k a year yeah it's good money right for a couple hours of work yes um so our friend catherine brian you're not going to believe this no don't even say it don't tell me she got behind the wheel she was in a three-car accident that she caused she apparently plowed into the back of a pickup truck without ever touching her brakes which

also made the pickup truck hit the person in front of him a pickup truck a pickup truck she pushed a pickup truck what was she driving a semi no it was a little car a ford escort yeah oh my gosh it was a little bit of car going 100 miles per hour roughly yes um now the pickup driver see if you can catch on to this terminology he hired himself a lawyer and he said

He was not only injured, but suffered mental anguish. Of course. What's that code for? I want your money. Some people call that punitive damages. Yes, yes. Bring in. Who is the guy? It was the Johnny Cochran knockoff on Seinfeld. Oh, yeah. That's salacious. Unbelievable. It was Johnny something. It was. Anyway, yeah. So he's suing her for everything she's worth because she plowed it.

into him. She did have an open bottle of hooch in the passenger seat. Hooch! Be better than that. Which we think may have been Southern Comfort, which is why I was so confused at the beginning of the story. It could be. All right, so let's get this. We do this all together in unison when we have stories to share like this.

Are you ready? One, two, three. Get an Uber, jackass. If not, get yourself Jackie Childs. Jackie Childs. Also, there was another one this week, too. Melissa something or other. She used to be on The Bachelor, and then she was on Dancing with the Stars. She also got a DUI this week. Damn.

I missed that one. Yeah, just like you said. Typically, if you're a celebrity and you get a DUI, you appear on the show. All right, here's number two. This was like, had to be on here, no-brainer. So, I missed that real quick. I was going to check. What was the hooch she had in the car? Unknown, but we think it was Southern Comfort. But now I have that hooch.

got the hooch song in my head baby who's got all the i just can't i don't understand if if you have had got the love you've had too much to drink sexy sexy sorry if you've had too much to drink why would you bring a bottle in the car with you you you'd

want to kind of like perfume it up maybe she wanted to finish it when she got home maybe she got in the escort sober and things just went a different way she was looking for parking for a very long time she could have been sober but the bottle went sideways on her all right so this is mark sanchez

You guys can all opine on what the hell this story is. Until a week ago, he had a blessed life. Yes, blessed indeed. So I looked up his career earnings in the NFL based on contract value, $66.3 million. I can also report that most commentators on Fox get between $10 and $12.

million dollars per year. Mark's not earned for money. So why wouldn't you go on assignment, find a poor old 69-year-old man just trying to make ends meet doing a job and beat the hell out of him to the point that he felt endangered for his life and stabs you?

Hey, kudos to Mark Sanchez for overcoming the pepper spray. Yes. No effect. No effect. Which tells me. He was like the Hulk. He just powered straight through that. Maybe a little sniffy sniffy on board in addition to the alcohol. Something enticed this way. So he had like a special.

parking spot behind the hotel? Is that what the issue was? Oh, well, maybe Peoria can tell us. Here we go. Oh, let's hope so. It is go time. Peoria Pete. Hello, sir. Why isn't this coming through? Did he punk us? Oh.

Dude, you heard the thing working. No, it was working. I didn't hear the... I didn't hear the ring either. Hold on, Peoria. We're calling you back. All right. Stand by. So, yeah. Apparently, as you said, he had a parking spot behind the hotel, same place that the guy hooks up the... Grease trap. He was a grease trap cleaner. I tell you what. You don't want to mess with the guy who cleans grease traps. No. Well, apparently, he'll stab your ass. Well, you can't.

to be in that world. Not the stabbing guy, but the grease trap world. Peoria, can you hear us? We can't hear you. We got nothing. He must not be able to hear if he called right back. What is this? I'm going to fill up a little time here. Peoria.

Indianapolis? Did you hitchhike there? No, that's where Mark Sanchez was. Were you in the back of that truck? So confused. Grease trapping? How are we doing, guys? Fantastic. We're trying to piece together the Mark Sanchez story, and I'm actually holding your phone call up to my microphone because it's not working on the input. Well...

Always good to hear from you. So what do we have? We got Mark Sanchez hurt thoughts and prayers his way. And then thoughts and prayers turn.

towards the driver that he attacked hammered we're actually kind of thinking um when you when you get through it when you get through a cloud of pepper spray unfazed and still get close enough to get stabbed that maybe there's more than alcohol on board thoughts i can tell you from some experience that getting that

Getting through a cloud of pepper spray is not as easy as it sounds. I wouldn't think it was easy at all. I thought you were going to tell us from experience that a fit of rage will get you through anything. Yes. That's also true. That's also true. Hey, who knew that Mark Sanchez was only 38? Are you kidding me? I thought he was at least...

We lost you again. Peoria, hang on. Sorry, you thought he was at least what? How old? I thought he was at least 49. Wasn't the butt fumble like 12 years ago? Yes, he's famous for the butt fumble. It's the bumble. The bumble. Getting his ass kicked by a 69-year-old man. You're stabbing.

I got news for you. And I've said this on the show before. And this one I'm going to add to it. I don't want to get bit by a snake, alligator, shark, get shot, or stabbed. I've avoided that so far, and I want to keep that going. I think you've just covered the list of anything bad that could happen to you. You don't want to do any of those things. I don't want to. No. I wouldn't either. You're okay with a fit of pepper spray.

though. Yeah. He could defeat that. Yes. Mark did it. I wear contacts. Yeah, Mark did it. See how it worked out for him. So do you put, like, what kind of inebriated, impaired do you have to be to put your blessed life with all the money you could possibly

possibly have in the world on the line to beat up an oil trap guy. Is that it? Oil trap? Grease trap. Grease trap guy. Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't he like pretending that he was hotel security and the guy couldn't park his truck there? Well, do tell. We don't know this level of detail. We were boots on the ground. Apparently you were boots on the ground. Boots on the ground. That's what I heard, I guess.

I guess he got in the cab and was telling the guy, you can't park this truck here. I talked to hotel security and you can't do it. I did hear that he got in the truck. That's how he did it. But either way, I've stayed at many a Holiday Inn. Can't he just park straight across from this guy? Why is he parking or worrying about his car in the first place? Right. I don't think he was even worried about his car.

I think he had no idea what was going on in the world at all. So I have an alternate theory on this. What do you got? Aliens. My alternate theory is this is classic Mark Sanchez being a good guy taking the fall for Joe Buck. Oh. Well, that's not his wingman. I know, but I think that's why it's so odd. That's why it's so odd. It's the guy that used to be big time.

on ESPN and now he or Fox now he's like nothing it's uh he used to have his own show Joe Buck no Tony Kornheiser just move on go with my theory I got a good theory alright yeah

But once again, how do you get to that point? Were you that messed up? Maybe it was CTE. Maybe it was butt-y. It probably was butt-y. That sounds about right. What else is going on, Peoria? Tell us about the golf team. Yeah, we've been following you from up north here. The Peoria... Penguins. Tender Rivers Classic.

What's the Peoria mascot? Riverwoods. Riverwoods, plural. Yes. Tell us about the golf team. Riverman. We lost him. What is happening? Hold on, Peoria. He just went in a tunnel. All right. Tell us about the plural Riverwoods golf teams.

Beautiful, the den at Fox Creek in Bloomington, Illinois. Designed by Arnold Palmer. You're kidding. Arnold Palmer. Yes, he was. He got to Bloomington somehow. How long did this round take? 15 hours? Kyle, he filled his car with Pennzoil. Which is weird because State for Golf is in Peoria. But, yeah, go ahead. Yeah, it was a great practice.

Did you have a ghillie suit on while you were scouting it out? Oh, I gotcha. I gotcha. Stay ready. Always be closing. Yeah.

A-B-C. Yeah, so we've got two golfers playing on Friday. One freshman and one senior. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I saw a five-man playoff for two spots. Godspeed. And one of my, I have a senior who got through it, which was

cool. It is cool. Fantastic. So how many kids do you graduate from that school? From my school? Yes. As a coach, I mean, they graduate in like 100%, 90%. Oh, yeah. We want to put the camera back on you. Oh, the graduation rate. Excuse me. I thought I

You meant how many kids were leaving the golf program. I'm so confused with this conversation. My arm's getting tired of holding his phone in the microphone. I'd have to look at our report card, but I think we do okay. Oh, good for you. And that's most important because they are student athletes. Yeah, student first. Yes. You preach that. We're hitting all the good things.

All right, Peoria. You said it starts on when? Friday, tomorrow? It starts on Friday. Go get them. It's Friday for me, so that's like three days from now. Did you get a quarter zip, new quarter zip for this that says state 2025? A short sleeve one? I did not. And polyester shorts with two buttons? You need to demand this. I can promise you this. There'll be some bullies.

One last thing, Pete. How many vice captains, a.k.a. teachers that want to leave early, do you have on your staff? Yes. Why?

Because we're on fall break. Oh, you surrendered your fall break for the kids. Good for you. God bless. Good for you. You're like tiny Tim. Get back to work. Not all heroes wear capes, guys. That's right. Oh, yeah. All right, Peoria. Thanks for the call, baby. Go get them. It's good. All right. Bye-bye.

Seriously, I got an arm cramp. Carl, give me some ice. We'll have to practice this Colin stuff. What is the problem? We were listening to music. What a great friend of the show. He is a friend of the show. And I really do hope that they do well, except they're going to be in the wrong spot for staying because it's in Peoria. We really should talk to marketing and send him some

kind of bling, some kind of merch. I should have made him a cup when I made you guys one. Maybe a BS from a basement quarters that he could wear around the golf course. That would be nice. What would the colors be? I don't know. What is Riverwoods plural? Do we have colors? We need logo colors. We're orange and

- It's blue apparently. - Oh, okay. - Carl, can you confirm that, Carl? - We're the bears that fight the line I am. - Oh man, I am ready to guide the people. - Wow. - Oh my god, my arm hurts so bad. - I can barely get this Manhattan to my mouth. - You should have passed it over, I caniled it for a while. - Oh, it's good. - All right, it is time for "Dear JD".

JD, the people need advice. They crave direction. They are blind and want to see again. That's why we asked JD. Wow, that was wrong. That was something else. I'm afraid. I'm a little

concerned as well. I know I did the let's get ready to rumble voice and that did not work. We will keep working on that a little bit. It's okay. It's something new. We got two today and they're both a little bit more of a cry for help but I can't wait to see what J.D. gives the people. Dear J.D. Why did he look at me when he said that? I can't wait to see what J.D. says to the people. J.D. Dear J.D., when my brother passed away many years

ago, my sister-in-law kept the family photo album that belonged to him. The family photos in my sister-in-law's possession include many from my childhood and our larger family, as well as a few of her husband and my brother. I understand that albums hold great sentimental value for her, and I appreciate the connection she must feel to these memories. What I struggle with is that while all of my brothers and sisters have their own photo albums, I have

After our parents passed away, my brother was able to take what he wanted from the house, but I did not have that opportunity. So I have no family album of my own. JD, do you have any advice on how I might approach my sister-in-law about possibly sharing copies of some of the photos so that I too can have some of these memories to hold on to? I have a really good situation.

suggestion why don't you say hey let's spend an afternoon and i'll go through these pictures and see what ones i want to make copies of for myself i have a better suggestion what you keep the pictures you're in everybody keep the pictures you're in if they're all in all of them then they're all in multiple we'll duplicate that so i do i i have heard this where it's like when a parent passes or someone passes who

Whoever's there cleaning up just kind of scrounges and takes everything. But if she wants pictures, just go talk to whoever has them and say, let's sit down, make it fun. We'll go through the pictures. I'll tag the ones I want. I'll take them and make copies and then give this back to you. You can scan them. Yes. She could just be like, we could do it together. I'm not going to steal it. It seems like it's not that hard.

No, she could make it fun. Let's spend an afternoon going through pictures. But she couldn't get to the house to get the pictures in the first place. Maybe she did, but her sister-in-law was a giant bully and just took everything and ran to her car. Weird things happen when people pass away and clean out houses, so I'm not surprised to hear this, but if she has a good relationship with them, just be like, hey, I just want to make some copies of

those so that someone when i pass away can take them and not want them again this is right this is so i try to throw out my three times i've tried to throw out my yearbooks but wanda won't let me you can't throw those away so my kids have a bunch of dudes so my kids your kids can throw them away there's not even hot chicks in it but you're in them it's fun to look at every once in a while i have all my yearbooks and stuff yeah but eventually you gotta you gotta give

them out, right? Yeah, when you go, someone will throw them for you. You know what? When you get off of AOL Online, throw your yearbooks away at the same time. You don't have any of your yearbooks. I don't. Someone related to me does, but I don't. Oh, well, my someone who's related to me said, take these or I'm throwing them away, so

I kept mine. I would have tempted that dare. All right. Dear JD, I am a 64-year-old male, and I have a 59-year-old girlfriend of a couple years. Yeah, you do. My perception is that my girlfriend is constantly seeking attention

from other men. For instance, we were out on an ATV ride with another couple and a third man. Our ride brought us through many miles of backcountry. We stopped at a bar restaurant to use the facilities. My girlfriend goes into the bar and she's in there for a while. I stayed outside and talked with the other guys we were with. She finally comes out and meets

She was talking to a couple of guys and had a shot of whiskey to check the prices. What? Wait, wait, wait, wait. You had a shot of whiskey to check the price? Yeah, she was like, let me have this and then I'll find out what it costs. Seriously, I'm supposed to believe that she couldn't have just asked the price. Later in the day, we stopped just the two of us at another bar or restaurant and had something.

which i have a couple of and his bike was just another cheaper invitation race bike suzuki she needs to work on her storytelling just going all over the place then on the way home she tells me yeah this is the dude then on the way home she tells me how her niece has been trying to set her up a girl's night including her at a local bar kind of letting me know presumably so she's she can say i

I told you. Clearly I have a problem with this, but I'm trying to keep it open mind. You know what they say. Intimacy does not begin in the bedroom. So I know what I think I should be doing. Who says that? But I'm looking for an outsider's perspective. Signed being taken for a ride. Yeah, I think she's trouble. Yeah. She sounds like big trouble.

This guy probably has money. I was just going to say. And, like, he has his own ATV. He probably has his own cabin. Apparently, the imitation Harley. But she thinks she's hot stuff because she's, you know, five years younger. And bros at a whiskey bar will buy her a shot. Even when they don't know how much it costs. I think that she.

She is trouble. She's got to go. If you're dating, no matter what age, and your partner goes into a bar or whatever, you use the facilities, and she has a shot with two dudes, that ain't normal. I mean, am I wrong? All right. So let's say we're on a pedal bar.

I go into the bathroom, two guys are like, hey, we bought you a shot. I'd be like, sweet, take the shot and then leave right away. Yeah. Okay, I get what you're saying. But you're not going to talk to him. No, I think it's when he found her outside, like, hanging out, talking with someone else. That was the weird one. Like, you go in, like, it might just be like, hey, let's, let's just shoot, everyone's shooting shots, get in with us. Then you go, okay, cool.

You do it. But, like, she was out there talking to guys and then, like, wanting to have a girls weekend where she's going to meet some guys. Like, that's what's weird. If he's 64, he's got some cash, got some bikes and stuff, he should be, like, Belichick. 59's too old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree with that. Yeah.

if he's got money but that's what you're always gonna deal with like he that's what he's gonna always deal with kyle i'm in my hero he wants some chick plus they're like riding atvs this is a this is a crowd i can't hang with no i'm never like not an atv guy no hard on the lower back he's like i'm 65 and you're 50

Let's go ATV around the world and then drink beers along the way. We can get our hips replaced together. And that's Ask Deji. Ask what? Say that again. Deji. That's her Japanese name. Deji. That's Kung Fu.

Who did we talk about earlier that was dyslexic? Toyoka. Or no. Nick Cannon. Nice job, Nick Cannon. Can-nicking. I'm over here futzing around with the Bluetooth. You're going to have to figure that out in your...

It worked. You heard it working. No. We heard the music working. We heard a rotary dial. There it's working, see? But maybe it's only for the music. Maybe so. You know what? Brian, call me while you're over there. The day the music.

All right. Be clean. Our next segment is brought to us by our good friends at Manly Bands. Manly Bands with unique materials like Dino Bone, Meteorite, Historic Military Materials, and much more. Go to ManlyBands.com, a band for every man. ManlyBands.com, say no to boring. Manly Bands. Okay.

Oh, yeah. All right, buddy. Talk over here. Look, it's there. No, no. Hello, Kyle. Hello, Kyle. Oh, it is working. Hold on. Let me mute your... Now keep doing it. Hey, Kyle. I think it's coming through. Okay. Well, that's...

That was probably... Please stay on the line, listeners, despite this technical difficulty. That was probably very insightful to our listeners. All right. All right. What's our last segment called, Bri? It is my favorite. I peaked last week. I'm out this week. You got this one. It is called... P-E-A-K-E-D, not P-E-K-E-D. Correct. Yeah. Because you made it just sound like we cheated. No, no, no. I...

like, hit my peak. Did you, did you peak last week? Or did you peak last week? Hey, you know what it is, J.D. at college? Know your high school nickname-y's. All right, how we planned. This could be one of the easier ones we've ever done here. Hmm. And, uh.

Sounds like we're going to blow it. Really, it's... You know, we got a picture of the mascot here. And what we're looking for again is the mascot nickname. Yeah. The high school in the city and state...

that high school is located. And I have no clues tonight. JD, can you see this? He's a potato. What's it say across his chest? Russet. Can we bring it up again? Is he in Idaho? Well, I think you're on to something there. But is Russet the name of a town or just the name of a potato? I think it has to be the name of a town. Or is it the name of the mascot? I think it's all of the

above let's talk about a little bit he's got a crown yeah he's got a spear and a cape what's he got on his chin or is that just the uh that's just the tassel on his cape yeah he's a warrior king well that's not helpful

All right. So we think your contention, Idaho, I think, is a given. Well, I had to be smart to guess that. Jamie, I think it's very insightful that you picked Idaho. Thank you. Idaho is famous for what? Idaho. Taters. Taters. Correct. I don't know what that was. What we don't know is if Russet is a town.

But it would be weird if you had a chest tattoo just of a type of potato. But it is a type of potato. I know, but it would be like, who cares what kind of potato you are? But here's what we're walking into. We're going to say it's Russet, Idaho. It's Russet High School. And the name of the mascot is Russet. Is that even believable?

Yes. What do you want to say? How about this? He's a sweet potato because he has a sweet sword. Russ at Idaho, Russ at high school, the taters. See where I'm going with that? See how I changed that up? His sweet potato would be orange, I think. Yes. Brian? Also true. No, we need more. I mean, what other direction can we take that? I don't know.

I can't go anywhere else. How come Wanda doesn't text in anymore? All right. I don't know. So give me. So. So the state you nailed, Idaho, which is famous for. That's a cat. Idaho is famous for. Potatoes. Potatoes. Correct. Now let's go to the nickname. Give me your nickname. Do you think they're the kings?

Oh, King Spuds. Oh. Spud Kings. Spud Kings. I like that. Talk to us. They're the Russets. You know what? Screw you, man. You walked us right into that. He's wearing it on his chest. We knew. And for totally no help at all, it's called Shelly High School.

in Shelly, Idaho. What the hell is the crown and the spear about? I am about to give this an accidental... Do you see how he misled us? I am about to give this an accidental middle finger. He's a proud... Oopsie! He's a proud potato. This is... He's going up through... The rushes. Yeah.

All right, tell us some interesting stuff about this because we just totally bombed that. But I think we got totally misled. I think my battery just died. All right, what do you got off the top of your head? Well, you're going to have to remember it, big guy. You know it doesn't die, paper. So this is one of the easiest. It kills trees, but it's there for you. This is one of the easiest, and as I research this, it's very simple. Idaho potatoes russets. There's nothing else to it. They just name themselves.

the Russets and their proud potatoes. So they're unoriginal. They are. Yeah, and that's actually kind of boring. Why did you pick that one? No, it was a good one because it was weird. Because I thought you guys would nail it. We would nail Shelby. Oh, Shelby, Wisconsin. Idaho. Well, the Russets. He didn't get the Russets. He's wearing it on his chest. We thought we were being duped, and we were correct. I apologize.

Well, they do have a saying in Shelby, Idaho. Is it Shelby or Shelly? Shelly. Shelly, Idaho. You know what they say they say. I'm not sure what they say. Once a russet. Always a russet. And take it, Uber, jackass. That's a wrap, boys. Another epic live

stream for the people. I like my potatoes mashed. I like them plain. Alright, everybody. When you're on the belt, do something good out there.