BS from a Basement

BS from a Basement Ep79

Episode Notes

*music*

Oh, yeah. Wednesday. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the show. This is BS from a basement. It's brought to you by Get Some Sports 13 TV for the best in local high school athletics, AAU basketball, intercollegiate volleyball, and club volleyball on YouTube, Facebook Live, Spotify, Audible, Pandora, Apple, and Amazon.

And Rydacenter Brewery. Brewed with humility. Locally brewed and packaged in Lake Villa, Illinois. Try one of those bad boys today. You won't be disappointed. And don't forget 25% off at manlybands.com using promo code GETSOMESPORTS13 at checkout. Jamie, it's party time. It's time to go. It's party time. Isn't that what it says? Yes, it is. It is party time.

What are we looking at? It's been verified. My glasses. Oh, your glasses. Walgreens special. Nice. Party time. All right. Well, we got so much excitement tonight. Do you pay for them or steal them? Oh, it was a five-finger discount. Yeah. Straight into my pocket. Carl got sent in on the case. And talking about Carl, did you notice that he...

on the advertisement today had the correct start time, but had the countdown clock set a half hour off. Did you notice that? I didn't notice that. Damn it, Carl. Was it early or late? It was way early. Oh, so we've probably lost half our audience that was there at seven o'clock right when the countdown hit zero. Um, yeah, we got a little fruit fly going there. Um,

But you know, there's like, isn't it India? There's a part of India that it's not like seven hours ahead. It's seven and a half hours ahead. There is a weird place in the world. So I think he was setting it for there. I think that's right. Because we've been trying to get bigger in India and we're still waiting for our first South Korean listener. It makes sense. Has not happened, but it was a goal for 2025. I want you to remember that.

Remember that? I do. We need to go back and revisit our goals for this year. I mean, we're halfway through the year. If we can't get them in the next three months, we're done. We're more than halfway through. We basically have no chance. Yes. There's still three months to go. Not with that attitude. Which is more than halfway through the year. It's quarter four, Jamie. You know that. You're a finance person. Just started today. I got a little merch on from right of center. I do, too.

No, I have Manly Bands merch on. That was so exciting and then such a letdown. They're both worth. All of our sponsors are getting loved tonight. Wow. That's what I'm looking for. And are you wearing my underwear? I am. Special surprise. All right. Let's cheers this up and get going here. I just realized it's my toast. Yes. This is my problem.

I don't always read everything. So here we go. Bottoms up. That's the first thing I look for. Cheers. All right, everybody. If you want to call and talk to us, we'd love to have you join the show. All you do is call my cell phone.

Pretty easy. If you don't have my phone number, do not fear. You can go on to Snapchat and you can friend us at GetSomeSports13. And then you can use the call-in feature on Snapchat to call and talk to us. That's awesome. If you're more of a typist, also acceptable, you go to YouTube or wherever you're watching this live stream and you go into the comments section.

Type what you want in there, and then that gets sent into the engineering room where Carl sits, and he'll sound out all the words in your comment. Then he'll send them into the studio if they're appropriate, and we'll read them. Perfect. Fantastic. Hey, I know we usually kick it in right here, and it just goes. A couple things to talk about real quick. Let's hear it. Cubbies today.

They lost 3-0, had four hits. The middle of their order is like 0 for 16 the last two games. But how about Dylan Cease looking like a Dennis Eckersley lookalike today? Oh, yeah. He's from a 70s port style. Yes, he totally is. I wouldn't have recognized him.

He very much looked like Dennis Eckersley, and he kind of pitched like him today, too. For three and two-thirds innings. I just think they didn't want to ruin it for all the people that had tickets for tomorrow. Yes. They didn't want to let people down. They're playing all three at Wrigley? Yes. Oh, that's interesting. Bang, bang, bang. This first series is relentless. Is it two o'clock again? I don't know the answer to that. I think that's right. Not positive, though. Seems like you'd want to throw him on primetime at least once. Maybe. For the last one? Yeah. Could be.

Well, we'll see tomorrow if they're going to get it done or not. The other thing I was going to talk to you guys about, and I want to just kind of get your permission. I have heard recently a couple of pretty good dirty jokes. They're a little dirty. Not profanity, but a little dirty. Yep.

I was thinking I could whip one out now. No pun intended. And then maybe one at the end of the show. Was that the joke? No, it was not. You want to hear a dirty joke? Let's hear it. One of two? Sure. This is from Sean Hayes from our friends at SmartList. Friends of the show. Okay. Sean Hayes and the boys. All right. So I heard this the other day. Pretty good joke. All right. Guy goes in to see a urologist. Mm-hmm.

I'm already tense, Kyle. Brian already canceled this segment. The doctor walks into the room and he says, well, Mr. Jones, you're going to have to stop masturbating. He says, what? Why? And the doctor says...

Because I'm trying to talk to you. Did I get my room shut? Is that like a dirty dad joke? It kind of is. The next one's a little bit better, but that's a good start, I think. I like that one. All right, our first segment. Doesn't he play right field for the Guardians? Who? Mr. Jones? Bates?

Sean Hayes? No, we were talking about him the other day. He goes so far for this joke every time. Oh. Yes. Brian. All right. Our first segment is brought to us by our friends at Brian's Underwear. They're short, white, tight, and they fit just right. Brian's Underwear. Balls. Balls. And here we are. Here we go. To celebrate some celebrity birthdays and recognize National Thing Day. I love it.

So let's kick it off. Birthdays. First one, alive. Always good. Yes. And today's birthday, October 1st. This famous actress turned 91 today. She's had multiple movie roles, but her most famous have her starring as a nanny.

In 1997, she underwent throat surgery to remove non-cancerous polyps on her vocal cords, but the surgery resulted in permanent damage to her voice, and she has been unable to sing professionally since. Celine Dion. She's not 91. She also doesn't have a paralyzed vocal cord, but she kind of sounds like something.

Sorry, keep going. It's okay. Prior to this errant surgery, she was practically perfect in every way. I know who this is, I think. I know her name, but I can't think of it. Oh. You know her movie name, but not a real name? I know her real name. While you two, Kyle and Brian, are a few of my favorite things. Oh.

Her favorite things probably include her Academy Award, Grammy, Emmy, Golden Globe, Screen Actors Guild, and American Film Institute Lifetime Achievement Awards. She's got a pretty famous sister, too, right? I don't know about that. Is it Barbra Streisand? No, it's not Barbra Streisand. Well, I can guess without fear of reprisal. Brian, what do you got? It's like an English lady. It is an English lady. Her career is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, Brian. Is this the first stump? It is killing me. I could see her face.

No, it's... Where's Wanda? Oh, man. Give him the first letter. Mary Poppins. That's her ex. It's her name on screen. It's Dick Van Dyke. Okay, first name starts with a J. No. Last name starts with an A. Have you heard my guesses? I guess Barber's. You got it. Good work. Thank you.

Barbara Streisand and Celine Dion. I thought you would know this one. I don't know anybody's name. That's the problem. What was her name? Julie Andrews. Wasn't she in X-Files? No, that was Jillian. Oh, Jillian Anderson. And she's like 50 years younger. Jillian Anderson or Jillian...

No, Jillian. All right, Kyle had to give himself points for something. All right, second one. Hopefully this is a little easier. Alive, September 25th birthday. This famous musician and actor turned 57 on September 25th. Everybody's so old. He's a part owner of the 76ers.

He's been six foot two since he was 13 years old and was a millionaire by the time he was 20. It's not Kevin Hart. That's too tall. It's not Kevin Hart. Does he have eyes of blue? His running catchphrase is, oh, hell no. And he incorporates it in every movie he's in. Oh, I think I know. I think I know. Okay. Yes, I'm excited. All right. Let's see. Do you want to guess before we go further on? No, because I don't want to ruin your clues. All right.

When he's not working, you may find him getting jiggy on the chessboard. He loves playing chess. And even though you may be getting close to guessing this one, keep his name out your mouth. Yeah.

Well, now I'm really confused because I was going to guess. I was going to guess Chris Tucker, but now I know it's Will Smith. Yes, it is Will Smith. That's the advantage of putting your hand up at the beginning. Because apparently... When it's catchphrase of, oh, hell no, Chris Tucker says that all the time. He does say that too. So I fessed up that was going to be my guess, but I revised my guess with the additional clues. I like your honesty. He was 6'2 at 13 years old? He was.

And he never grew another inch. He has not. And then just stayed that way. He's 5'11". I bet he was disappointed. I told that to Duke last night and said, maybe you'll stay at this height. He wasn't appreciative of that comment. No, kids don't like that kind of talk. You're telling me I should control that? It's up to me, son. Drink milk. All right. Next, National Thing Day. It is National Black Dog Day.

Well, how about that? We all have one of those. That's why we have to celebrate it. We all have a black dog and it's all our second dogs, too. It's celebrated every October 1st and it was founded to bring attention to black dog syndrome, which is where people will not buy black dogs because they think they're evil and mean, like cats. Apparently, we didn't know that rule. None of us knew that. That's actually my friendliest dog. It's the most pleasant by far.

The little white one bites my face off. They should have put her back to the pound. Black Dog Day started in 2011 and has been celebrated every October 1st since. And what percentage of dogs do you think are black? Well, now that you say that, I'm going to go low. 17.

20. 33. Damn. You get prizes right rules, Bray. Good job. One in three dogs is black. Yeah, and they're apparently shamed. Well, it kind of makes sense. I mean, how many colors of dogs are there? And we have three dogs and one in three of them is black. Oh, yeah. We flip right in. 30% of mine are black.

Wow, look at these odds. You're running up the score. All right, it also is National Homemade Cookie Day. Yes. Which is celebrated on the 1st of October every year. Which goes well with a breakfast stout, Kyle. Yes, it does. Today is...

About indulging and sharing the best cookies ever made, the homemade kind. Yes. The word cookie came from a Dutch word meaning small cake. What are the two most popular cookies in the world? Like the flavor? Yeah. Oh, chocolate chip. Yep, that's one. What's the second? Oatmeal raisin. It's a kind of cookie. It's not really a flavor, I would say. Oh, it's...

It's not a flavor. Sugar? Oreo. Yes. Yeah. You got them both. That's right. How many cookies does the average person consume in a lifetime? Let's see. A thousand a year times 72 years. A thousand a year. A hundred and seventy-five thousand. A thousand a year. That was just last Christmas. A thousand.

I'm going to go 80,000. 19,000. Damn. We're better than that. But how many cookies does total America, United States, buy annually? U.S. and A. U.S. and A. Buy a day? No, annually. Oh, my God.

I'm going to say 1.2 billion. Oh, that seems high. But we've been surprised before. 1.21 billion. Over 2 billion. Oh, you won! So, to go with your beers. We don't have an obesity problem. You guys each have two cookies. Oh, they're homemade! They are! They're not homemade, I pretended. Oh, no.

No one would have known. You could have at least done your sneeze button. I put them in baggies to make it look like they were homemade, but nobody wants a cookie that I baked at home. Does anybody really like the crunchy? It's the kind that come in those white bags. If you get the chocolate chip, you don't want it to be crunchy. Everybody likes the gooey chocolate chip, right? But sometimes a good crunchy chips Ahoy is good. No. Sometimes. If you're in the right mood, yes. What about Tate's?

The real thin ones? Yeah. There's a place for those, too. Yeah. I agree. It's taint. I'm sorry. It's taint. I'm so sorry. You know it would buy taint. You want to get that pronounced right. Pronounced. I just said. Pronounced that. All right. That was a good segment. All right. Now, we have a major, major announcement, Brian. Uh-oh.

I gave you guys time to eat your cookies. We're going to try a new segment on the show, Brian. And it's somewhat based in a serious conversation, but it's going to be so fun to watch you struggle with this. All right. So...

We've talked on the show before. Don't chew in the same rhythm that I'm chewing in. We've talked on the show before that AI is a problem, right? Like we've agreed that it's a problem. Agreed. Now, I got to turn something off to make this work. Hold on.

Hopefully not my microphone. So Snapchat, well, that's getting muted in a second. Snapchat has now released an AI photo filter. It's a problem. Like, it is so good, it's going to be a huge problem. So what we're going to do, and I'm going to give you a little flavor for this before we roll into it, Brian. Hold on a second. Let me turn off. So, like, people can...

Put pictures of people who are not the real people. Correct. Yes. And you tell it what you want those people to be doing. Or looking like. Yes. Looking like they're doing. Oh, my goodness. All right. So you all remember when I. So I could blame it on AI from now on? You can. You all remember when I dressed up for the Morgan Wallen concert and then actually got on the stage at the Morgan Wallen concert and played guitar and, you know, sung in front of the crowd. Man, what a night that was for you. It was a great night.

This is an example of AI, Brian. That didn't happen, Brian. No, this is not real. Really? Yeah. Now, this is where it gets more interesting. And this is what we're going to do with you tonight, Brian. And we've even prepared a little song for this. That's you on the right.

Okay. The other way. Listen. Listen to the rules. So in each of these slides, one person is going to be what's called the reference, and the other two are going to be fake pictures. And you can see how good this is. So that's obviously me as number one. Then I asked AI to make me a woman, and it created that picture, which is a very realistic-looking picture. Would you agree? Okay.

And then I asked him to make me an African American. And that is a very realistic looking picture as well. So we've scoured the University of Kansas and my place of employment today. And we've taken pictures of people that you don't know so that we can play this game.

We're going to play four slides worth of games. And Jamie and I are going to predict before we start how many you're actually going to get right. Okay. All right. Now, I think just by chance, you'll get one. So like in this sequence, I would have to pick that the real guy is the real picture is you. You would say the reference picture is number one. And you would be right. I'm going to give you one out of four at best. How am I supposed to know this?

Well, you have to look at it. Are there tells on it? No, that's why we're saying it's so scary and so good. I'm going to say he'll get two. How many are there? 50%. There are four of them. Are you enjoying the song, by the way? Oh, it just started. It just has been turned down, so you can't hear it. I don't want to distract you. Thanks. Okay, here we go.

Which one is the reference photo in slide 1? Is it 1, 2, or 3? 2. The correct answer is 3. I thought so, that little guy.

I don't know the way he looked. All right. 0 for 1. Don't like the way he looks. Is the reference photo 1, 2, or 3?

One. Good work, Brian. That is good. Good job. Have you seen her before in real life? Were you tipped off there? No, I wasn't. Okay. I was actually thinking of guessing two every slide. So Brian's currently one out of two. All right, here we go. Reference photo, one, two, or three?

By the way, this is a masterful for our radio show. Three. I would have guessed two. It is two. Oh, I'm 100% on this so far. So now Brian's got to get this one to beat my estimate. You got to get it for me, Brian. The reference photo is one, two, or three.

One. Do you know Jason Pooley? That's number three. That's his brother. Yeah, I don't know. This is Matthew Pooley, number three. Who is Matthew Pooley? Jason Pooley. It's not really important. It's not germane to the conversation. It's like a 25%. But what we're trying to show is...

That's, I mean, you can't really just like dismiss those pictures. It's that good. So when Kyle and I were coming up with, well, when Kyle came up with this. No, Caden came up. I'm sorry, Aiden came up with this. So when Caden came up to this and then passed it down to us, I took a picture of Jason and told the AI to make it look like he was out on a date.

And then I sent it to him. I'm like, where was this? And he was really confused and trying to figure out like what work dinner he had been at. And then Luke was like, dad, you can't tell. How could Luke tell? Do you know? I don't know how he, but he, Luke knew or he was just sticking up for his dad right away. So Kyle, one out of four, I would be a star on the U.S. Ryder Cup team. Yeah.

Yes, yes, you would. All right. Well, that was pretty good, Bri. I'm glad that you only got one right. Kind of proved the point that it's really hard to tell the difference between AI photos and real photos. All right. That's going to move us into our BS from a basement sports section. Before we get into settling up on last week's wagers and then placing this week's wagers, I need to give a shout out.

To the Lady Eagles varsity flag football team. Yes. They won conference last night? The night before last? They won it the night before last, and their JV also won conference. Fantastic. Solid group there. 21 in two seasons at varsity. I think, Brian, that is...

Hashtag dynasty, question mark. That it could be. It could be. Some people say dynasty. Not a lot, though, Jamie. Not a lot. Not many. All right. So last week, we implemented a new feature that we call the Antipala feature, which I don't make you guys vote on every game. I list them off, and then you get to pick your picks. Yeah.

You guys had, we had collectively a 33% hit rate last year, but we did have a 100% hit rate on the biggest line we could find. That one I feel like was a gimme. Yeah, the UMass Minutemen pulled it off. They covered by three points, I think. Yeah. They had three to spare. All right, so are you ready, Bri? Here we go. You know what, before we get there.

Let's talk World Series real quick. Sure. Who do you like to win the whole thing? And I can read off who's in it if you need me to. I'm going to take the Tigers. Do you like how he's not only chewing, but he's sucking every last morsel out of his teeth instead of talking and looking at me while he does it?

Of no more cookies. No. Nothing. It's unbelievable. And that's all he can focus on is the cookie remnants in his mouth. He just got the second one out. We're trying to do a show here. Okay. Phillies. You like the Phillies. Who do you like, JD? Tigers. Okay. I'm going to go Mariners. Oh. Wow. Yeah. All right. Spread. Yeah. Okay. Here we go.

Four games on the docket. Do not get... Did you eat both of them? Yeah, he did. Good Lord. He's looking for more. Keep yours covered. I thought I had something from a previous show. All right. I got four picks up front. Why don't you listen to them all and then decide which one you want to play. First one. Iowa State.

Da Cyclones. Versus Cincinnati. Cincinnati favored by only one and a half. Took out Kansas last week. They did take out Kansas last week. Second play of the game, Texas versus Florida. Da Gators. From the Swamp. Florida getting six and a half at home against Texas. Number 16, Vanderbilt. Da Commodores. Nice. Nice.

Versus number 10, Alabama from Tuscaloosa, the Crimson Tide, favored by 10.5. And the last game, of course, University of Kansas. I think heading on the road maybe for the first time this year. Could be. Although, weren't most of their home games really not at home, too? That was last year. Oh. We got our own stadium this year, too. Sorry for the old news. That's okay. Well, they may have played one in Europe.

Who knows? Kansas versus UCF. Now, you remember UCF beat the holy hell out of North Carolina. Kansas is favored by four and a half at Florida. The fighting Belichick. The fighting Belichick. All right, so you guys tell me which of those do you want?

I'm going to go Texas covering against Florida. Texas covers? Yep. Okay. Jamie, what do you like? I'm going to take Iowa State over Cincinnati. Iowa State plus the one and a half or outright? Why not take the points? You're getting them. Take them. Yeah. I, of course, am going to take Kansas covering four and a half over UCF. That's a no-brainer. All right.

Fantastic. All right. Our last pick for this week. It's brought to us by our friends at the CPSA, the cocoa plant growers of South America, turning basic chemistry and terrible life choices since forever. Completely and totally obliterated. The biggest line I could find this week, Oklahoma versus Kent State, which you have to ask, why is Oklahoma playing Kent State in week six or whatever we're on?

So the game hasn't started yet. Kent State is winning 45.5 to nothing. Can Kent State hang on to that against Oklahoma? And Oklahoma doesn't have their quarterback. Oh, a plot twist. I'm going to take Kent State. Kent State? 100%. Okay, we're all taking Kent State.

It seems to be a common theme amongst the panel. Yeah. In these big, biggest lines we can find games. Well, I like Jamie's theory on it. When you get up so much, you're bringing in the second team. You're not going to get people hurt.

Well, we'll see. All right. Our friend Brian, he's a connoisseur of the news. He reads multiple papers a day. He watches multiple TV shows every night. He's been known to even walk the beat to bring us the best news stories of the week. And he does it in a little segment that we like to call Brian's Riff. Riff.

Riffing. Okay, that was a dog park. In honor of all the black dogs in America. All right. We're riffing for the people on food safety in our first one here. Okay. So I don't know if you knew this, but 58 million pounds of corn dogs and other sausage on a stick products.

Yep. Sausage on a stick products are being recalled across the United States because pieces of wood may be embedded in the batter. Splinters. Several consumers reported injuries already. Now, I think it's got to be either on the way in or the way out that they're getting those injuries. I think if it's on the way out, you'd have a hard time correlating it back. I'm going to go way in.

The recall covers State Fair corn dogs on a stick and Jimmy Dean pancakes and sausage on a stick. Bad news. We have both of those at my house. I never even heard of them. Anyway.

So you knew they existed. I didn't know they existed. I know. We may have them in our freezer as well. So these products are made at Texas-based Hillshire Brands. The company determined, I quote, a limited number of these products include extraneous pieces of wooden stick within the batter. Seems to indicate a small amount of wood is okay.

Correct. And because of this, they opted to initiate a recall out of an abundance of caution. I'm curious how it got in the batter, though. Because don't you think they put the stick in at the end? Like, what's it doing in the batter? It doesn't seem like the stick should be near the batter. No, those should be separated. It's a rogue employee. Yeah, someone's putting some woodshavings, whittling things over the batter.

Unless they use a wooden spoon to stir the batter. Oh, that could be an old spoon. Puritans. That's probably it. So just FYI, consumers are urged to throw them away. No chance. Check your freezers. Do we have lot numbers? Can we read off all the lot numbers? Return them to their place of purchase. Is this cover how far back we're going?

Well, don't those things last like 100 minutes? Ours are probably pretty old. I think the freezer has just cracked off whatever wood is stuck in there. They're good. The wood decomposed by the time we get to eat ours. I think so. Amazon is the latest corporation paying a large settlement but admitting no wrongdoing. That's got to, mister. Amazon has reached a $2.5 billion settlement with the Federal Trade Commission.

which said the online retail giant tricked customers into signing up for its Prime memberships and made it difficult to cancel after doing so. You can't find anything in an Amazon menu. Not easy. So if I go into the menu section of your Amazon account, it's ungodly.

Hmm. I've never gone in. Yeah. You know, it's easy going into your previous orders to reorder again. Hell yeah. And going into your orders to return. They'll even email you. Remember when you ordered this? So I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty on the settlement, you know, focused on what everything happened, but I'm more focused on the admit no wrongdoing. Yeah.

if you're paying, you did something wrong. If you're settling, you did something wrong. No, Brian, you're simply making it go away. You just don't want to talk about it anymore. And you can't be liable for any additional lawsuits. So does the company really believe that consumers won't think they did something wrong?

So I didn't even hear about this. I didn't either. Which I think that's why. Well, that's what the riff is all about. They wanted to go away quick. They can't get it past me, those sumbitches. Is that aimed at the consumer or is that aimed at the U.S. legal system? Because wouldn't it be...

double jeopardy if someone tried to sue them after they paid their settlement and said we didn't do anything wrong then that absolves them of any further legal recourse I believe. I think you're right. So like when you settle your it's a what is it called when you sign off on it you can't

It's a waiver. Like once you've settled, no one can come back. As long as you don't admit wrongdoing, you got to get the stenographer in the courtroom. Can you write down, we didn't do anything? That's a very important part of the process. Yep. I don't even know if this is true. I'm making this up. Everybody says it. But that's the common thing. I'm going to pay $2.5 billion, but I didn't do anything wrong. Yes.

Yeah, just leave me alone. And maybe you're right there, because I would think the average consumer is like, no, you totally did something wrong if you're paying that fine. Yeah, but they're also probably thinking, if I have to fight this, I'm going to pay way more than $2.5 billion, so I'm going to pay it and go away. Once you get up into that type of number, I don't know if that's true anymore, but yeah, sure. I mean, that's a drop in the ocean for Amazon. So...

I kind of dumbed this down to our level. Yes. Thanks, Ray. So imagine being pulled over for speeding. Yes. The officer comes to the window. What you do is you say, officer, here is $125. I'm not admitting that I was speeding.

but I'm going to pay the cost of the ticket anyway. And he'll interpret it as a bribe and he'll mace you and beat you with his baton. Yes. Yes. But there's Amazon. And you know what? It's so funny, that number, like $2.5 billion, it works out to like $55 a person. Yes. It's a prime member. Yes. Yes. All right. Do you know what those are, Jamie? Those look like dogs. Do you know where they're at?

Are they at a diner? Oh, nice. And I think if you look just over the doodle one on the left, there's a black dog, which makes two black dogs in this picture. Oh, they're at Brian's ratio. Yeah, 33%. Chicago is like, the city of Chicago is like $1.1 billion short in their current budget. How does that happen? I mean, that's earth shaking for me. So Alderman Tibby,

Timmy Knudsen of the 43rd Ward apparently thought, whatever. Here's what he's doing. He's introducing an ordinance that would permit restaurants to opt into allowing dogs inside their establishments. Okay.

What does that have to do with being in the hole? I'm so confused. It has nothing to do with it. The idea is... The irony. The irony is we're $1.1 billion short in our budget. Oh, but this is what we're worrying about? This is what we're worrying about. I guess I expected too much. That's a good looking group of dogs, though. I would eat with those dogs. Restaurants that chose to admit pets would only be allowed to serve them water.

must keep them away from any food preparation areas, and owners must have proof of their rabies vaccination. This is good common sense. I can hang with this. So I own two dogs, as you know. You own dogs. I love them.

But they don't belong in restaurants. I don't mind seeing a dog at a restaurant. I don't either, but I couldn't take mine to a restaurant because they would bark the entire time we were there. I could take one of mine to a restaurant. So advocates say this will help struggling restaurants attract more business. I don't know how much more business. I don't think it's the dog that's keeping food going out to eat. No, it's not keeping the dog out. It's the fact that one person to eat nowadays costs $125. Correct. Well, currently...

I don't worry about getting bit when I go to a restaurant. Yes. Maybe I need to. But to your point, I guess in my point, when I thought about this, it's more stressful for me to think I would bring my dogs to a restaurant. I don't know that I would bring mine, but I really don't mind going in and seeing a dog. Like when you're down in Phoenix and Scottsdale, there's dogs at every restaurant, inside, outside.

Is there a type of restaurant they shouldn't be at? Like a level of... Five star? Yeah. Probably the kind I don't go to very often or ever. Once we get up into the $100 a head region, I think we cut the dogs off. Probably don't have to have them in there. Or maybe you have the fancier ones. That could be fun. Like dog show certified dogs. Correct.

French poodles. Yeah. And maybe they have a bow tie on. So the thing, the other thing is you have to be supremely confident about how well your dog was trained because you have no idea what other people are bringing. Yes. Let's go to the restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it's worth it. I think it's too, I think they got bigger fish to fry.

$1.5 billion worth. Yes. All right. Lastly, a follow-up story. Fat Bear Week 2025 is crowned a winner. That guy is fat. He is fat. He can't even see he's so fat. This is Bear number 32. I say that wrong. Bear number 32, also known as Chunk. Chunk. That's a good name. He defeated...

In the semis, defeated a bear known as Flo Tato. How do you not vote for Flo Tato? Well, apparently, if you look at this dude, he's got like a wired jaw or something. That's why he won. Broke his jaw. Not recently. I think this is an old injury. Yes.

I mean, his head looks like he has fat rolls on his eyes. But he ran away with it. There was like 69,000 votes cast, and he won by like 33,000. I'm proud of him. I think I could outrun that bear. You'd like to think that. I would pay to watch that. Like the movie The Great Outdoors. So if you recall from the original riff on this topic, the more weight

puts on ahead of hibernation season, the more likely they are to survive the punishing weather in Alaska. The website, this Katme National Park where they're at, the website actually notes, I quote, fat bears are successful bears. Unquote. I like how body positive they are. Words to live by it.

Nice, Bray. Nice. All right. Should we get dirty joke number two out of the way? Let's hear it. I think this one's better. Okay. I didn't get much of a reaction out of the first one. That's okay. You don't have to react to them. I mean, it's fine. I mean, I'm not like a belly laugh out louder. Sure. Okay. You ready? A belly laugh out louder. Well, you should be. I'm going to do it on this one. Let me work it up. No. I don't want your...

Your sympathy laughs. Your petty laughs. All right, let's hear your joke. Okay. Guy goes into the doctor because he needs to get a prostate exam done. He goes into the exam room, pulls down his pants. He's bent over the exam table. Doctor is behind him, snaps on the rubber glove.

Comes up behind him. He's just about to start the exam. And he says, Steve, try not to get an erection this time. The patient turns around. He's like, what are you talking about? My name's John. The doctor says, I know. My name's Steve. So good. That was a good one. So good. All right. Here we go. We're going to move it on down the road. We're still in the urologist. He's on down the road. We're still in the urologist.

Goofball of the week. It's goofball of the week time, and I gotta tell you, I don't really remember what I put in goofball of the week, so let's see what we got. Alright, this is stupid people or organizations doing stupid things. I think I got a couple for us this week. Here is the first. Alright. The NFL. And this relates back to Sunday night's

NFL game where we had, who did we have playing, Bri? We had the... Dallas and the Green Bay Packers. Packers, Cowboys. And after four and a half hours and it's like 11.45 at night, said game goes into overtime and ends...

in a tie. That's so dumb. It's so dumb. Why do they do that? It's a waste of time. Why can't they figure out a way to like make it end? I don't understand why. That's what she said. The college overtime construct is such a bad thing. I love it. I love college overtime. I love it.

And at least we pick a winner when the whole thing's over. And nobody wants a tie after four and a half hours. Four and a half hours of football. We can lose a whole column in the standings if we get rid of the tie. That's true. It really conserves space in the paper. It's just, I don't understand why they don't do a different kind. And they've actually not only...

they won't do the college format over time, but they actually made it easier to tie. Cause remember it used to be first score. Yeah. Then nobody liked that. Cause someone would kick a field goal and apparently 70 yard field goals are like the norm in the NFL nowadays. Yeah.

So they didn't like that. So then they said, okay, you can't win on a first possession field goal, but you can win on a first possession touchdown. Well, then they didn't like that. And now we're, it just, we basically play for 10 minutes and this is what happens. So stupid. Is it 10 or 20 minutes over time? I think it's 10. 10.

20 would be a long time. Well, it seemed like a long time. They're normally 15. I think they're 10. Yeah. I just, I don't get it. I don't get what the problem is with the college. So in college goes touchdown, touchdown, or score, score, and then you got to do the two-point conversions after the first two. After the first two, you have to go for two.

which pretty quickly gets down to it. Actually, I think it's not that you score and go for two. You run two-point conversion plates. Yes, you make it or you miss it. Yeah, so after you have possession and go from the 25, once you do that twice, if you're still tied,

Both teams get the ball in the five and you get one play. So then it really goes fast. And even if they don't like that, come up with a different way so the game actually ends. Yes. Not in a tie. Not in a tie. I would rather see two guys do a hundred yard race.

You pick your fastest, your fattest lineman against my fattest lineman. Go. They have to switch to baseball immediately with a runner on second. Yes. Chunk wins the... I agree. I think more and more there's enough outcry that this... It might be this year, I would think, when they do their rules to say this is enough. What does this help? It's a bad product. But the NFL purists, they poo-poo the college. They don't like it.

They don't like the college overtime. But do they like a tie? Apparently better than the college overtime. Everybody wins. Are they happy with that freaking kickoff, which is awful? Yeah. Yeah. Let's make that. Let's make that the overtime. Whoever runs it back farther than the 25 wins. Yes. All right. Oh, look at that graphic. Here is my second.

I don't know if you know who this is from the back or know what this person is doing. Hey, Kyle, what an ass. Is that Rory? Friend of the show, Rory McIlroy, who I've never had a good thing to say about, and that theme will continue.

This is Rory flipping off the crowd at Beth Page during the Ryder Cup. There was also a clip, I believe, J.D., you sent it to me, of Rory making a putt and then proceeding three times on the green to yell at the crowd, F you. Okay? Yeah.

He is just a total douche. He's such a douche. And then when he sat down and he was like, this isn't the game. I understand that they were provoking him, but he was just as bad. You bring it on yourself. You are the easiest European to hate. Just ignore everyone and they'll stop. Yes.

So there's this, there's been this outcry that, oh my gosh, the Bethpage fans were just unruly and it was awful and that's not golf. So Rory was one of the people in the outcry, but he's doing this. And then what else do we have going on? Um,

This is actually funny. I think after day two, Bryson in frustration went to the driving range to pound driver for like two hours. A group of 20 drunken Irishmen that were in attendance went to the range and

and sang him drinking songs the entire time he hit balls. It pretty much was just like the waste management tournament. Yes. Did he enjoy it? For the Ryder Cup. I don't think he enjoyed it, but I think that is actually pretty funny. 20 came in, 11 went on. And then Tom Watson, you know, he sent a letter to the, he was appalled by our behavior. First of all, Tom, you're a tool. You've been a tool forever. By who? The fans? Yeah.

Yes. He apologized to the Europeans for our fans' behavior. The EU Ryder Cup team. Was it an open letter? I think it was a tweet. Oh. If we have to get down to that level. Rory even said he's never playing in the U.S. again. He's such a liar. He also said it was still the best country in the world. He's so stupid. Did you see any footage of their bus ride back home? Yes.

They're so obnoxious. And their plane ride back home. How can you bus back to Europe? No, their bus back to the hotel. Sorry, Brian. Brian's very literal. Very literal. Was it an amphibious bus? It was. It was a duck. One of those ducks from the Dells. Duck you, Lori. So then we had the starter that lost her job for...

leading the crowd in an F you Rory chant. I think that's fantastic. Also funny. I feel that's worth losing your job for. She got wrapped up in the emotion of the crowd. And then the last thing is, and this is not okay, the person that threw the can of beer at Rory and his wife. That was the only thing I thought was inappropriate. Like the rest of it, whatever, they were just loud. They're just words. They're just words. But when they threw stuff, yeah, that was shitty. Yeah, when it went off her dome, that's not good. It hit her in the head?

Yeah, I think it hit her in the hat to be precise because she had a giant like Kentucky Derby hat on and it went off the flap. Was it full? It was heavy enough to get to her from quite a ways back. Yeah, that's wrong. But here's my thing. We have video of it happening. How do we not know who did it?

Also, if he was so appalled by how the crowd was behaving, maybe he tells his wife. I bet it was Michael Jordan. For sure. Michael Jordan did not smile for three days during that tournament. He wasn't happy. He was so pissed. He took it personally. He did. And then he dunked on every player. This is not golf. He said, stand under there. I'm going to dunk on you. So then the other thing to say about this is this is...

I mean, Sunday aside, the U.S. made a good charge, made it somewhat respectable, but they've got their ass handed to them the last two times. We've got to figure something out here. I know someone who had tickets that didn't even go Sunday because he thought it was just it was done. And they almost did the unthinkable. But then Sunday ended up being great. Should have gone. Only one U.S. player lost their match on Sunday. The problem is a few of them pushed. Otherwise, it would have been really good. I have a question for you, too. So the guy that pulled out.

Yes. That's what she said. When he said he couldn't play, why do they split the point? That's the stupidest rule I've ever heard. Because here's the thing. If the European team had all quit that morning, they would have won. Yes. And if you're down and your match is going to decide the outcome, you just got to injure yourself. Right. You just pulled your Johnson run.

So the thing is, so as part of that rule goes, before the singles, each team has to put a name of a guy in an envelope on your team blindly that says, okay, if someone is injured, like if my guy can't go, who are you pulling? Right, so like every single thing about it is just like the worst. If you cannot play, you lose the point, and that's it. And then the other team gets to decide who doesn't play too. Yeah, I don't know.

It's bizarre. All of this to say simply, you don't see this at live tournaments. This doesn't happen in the live circuit. That's all I wanted to say about it. It's actually what I wanted to get to on that one. And guys get hurt on live. Guess what? They put in a sub. Play a sub.

Maybe that's something that the Ryder Cup could learn from Luke. Or your captain gets out there in place. How about it? All right. That's enough of that. All right, Bri. All right, Bri, what do you got? It's the fan favorite.

Fantastic. Voice of God effected.

I thought that was just Brian. Dear JD, after a cookie, two cookies. I smoked seven cigars right before I said that. I'm a newly married 69-year-old woman who was previously a widow after 43 years of marriage. My present husband and I have been married for a little over a year. We dated in high school and coincidentally ended up together. Prior to getting married, my husband didn't ever mention he wanted to go on an African safari. Wow.

With his adult son. Is that required? Do you have to admit that before you get married? That's something you should disclose. With his adult son. And now it has come up frequently. I have made it clear it upsets me that he wants to do this travel without me and made it clear I am not paying for this adventure of his.

Why would I not be included? But I would never even desire to go on an African safari either. Oh, well, pick a lane. Can we just pause there for a second? I am appalled I'm not included. I wouldn't do that in a thousand years. I don't understand it. This wanting to be...

away from me for that long. It hurts me deeply that they didn't do this stuff all those years when he was single. Now he's retired, so possibly that's why his son has come up with this idea. Most people go on safari after they retire because they're really expensive. You know what? If she dressed up like a rhinoceros and ran around in the backyard, they could not go on safari. His son barely comes around as he struggles with anxiety.

I do not know how to handle this. It tears me apart. I think this man I've fallen in love with thinks nothing of being away from me for so long. I married this man to be a couple through thick and thin. Oh, my God. They're not going to not be a couple. Dramatic much? Please help me come to grips with this.

I will not help you. Am I being unreasonable, Jamie? Yes. Signed, left at home. Oh, my God. Is a safari 25 years long these days? Is he never coming back? He's walking all the way to Africa. Okay, here's the thing. Here is what she actually should think. He really wants to go on a safari. She has no interest. So cool. He has someone else to go with. She doesn't have to. Thank God I don't have to go. I'd be like, have fun, see you in two weeks.

But that's not where we went. We went with our marriage is over and we'll never see each other again. He was not sitting around for the last 68 years thinking I need to get everything done before I remarry this girl from high school. Right. Yes. Damn it. I got through the list, but number 98 was Safari and I left off there. I can't believe you want to go on a Safari. That's it. I'm out. Never came up pre-marriage. No. No.

A lot of marriage counselors will cover that in the first five questions. Check this box. Man, she... What did she keep saying? I can't believe he's what? He's like abandoning her. Yeah, leaving me. He wants to spend time away from me.

With his son that has anxiety. Okay, even more reason he should go with his son. Actually, in the two short paragraphs you wrote, I can tell why he wants to be away from you for a little bit. Also, I can tell you that his son is not coming around because he has anxiety. He's not coming around because he doesn't like you. No, he doesn't like her. That's what I mean. He doesn't like her. Right. Yeah.

What a whack job. You're better than that, people. We, dear JD, we have an older, live-in nanny for our two young children. During the week, she stays in our basement where she has a bedroom, bathroom, and a living area. And then she goes home on the weekends. She has expressed to us that she feels uncomfortable when we have guests stay in her quarters over the weekend. It seems odd to me that the basement should be...

permanently quote unquote hers even when she is not there are we in the wrong that is actually a tricky one so pretty cut and dry over here it's their house their space

As he feeds maraschino cherries in his face. Who's paying for it? Give me another cherry. It is their house, their space. But I also am curious of when they hired her, did they say this is where you live? Like, does she leave stuff there?

I would think so. Like what, a toothbrush? Monday through Friday? I don't know. But also then I think about the fact that if someone comes in town, they can stay in my kid's room if they want. It's not that different. And I don't think they're having people over every weekend. This is probably like the holidays or something. I'm thinking if you're a living nanny, you're probably doing your own laundry there and stuff. You probably have a set of clothes that you leave there. She's not bringing suitcases. But she's not living there permanently.

If she goes home on the weekends, I think it's not her space. All bets are off. But I can see how she, if her stuff's there and she feels like it's her room, I guess if she comes back, how do they, did they leave it how she left it? Or did they go through her stuff?

Here's how this works. You're a live-in nanny. Here's your $500 for this week, and I'm going to take $250 for your rent downstairs. And if you give me that, then nobody's staying down there but you. Well, that could be, too. You could do that. But also, like, if they come back and, like, the sheets look slept in and stuff, like, that's rude. Yeah. They should at least wash the sheets before. Or she walks around itching because she's got bed bugs. Yes, exactly. Yeah.

So what do we settle on? I think that as long as they pick up after the people that stay, it's not really her to say who can stay where. Interesting. I would agree. I disagree. You would just let someone sleep in the bed and leave it unmade for her to come back and be like, clean that up. Kyle, she's a nanny, not a maid. Oh, okay. Well, then, yeah, I agree. All right, our last one. Dear JD.

Do I need to place a fresh, unused bar of soap in the guest bathroom for every new guest I host? Sometimes people just stay for one night. Tossing soap away. I still have pubes. Solution. Don't use bar soap. How much does bar soap cost? Tossing soap that's only been used once seems wasteful.

Then you use it. You take it up to your shower and use it. Doesn't soap clean itself with every use? Oh, that's a Joey Tribbiani. Okay, I can tell you if I come to stay at your house and you have bar soap there, I'm not bar soaping myself. Well, gross. You just going to stand under the water? I'll use the shampoo.

Even grosser. It's not antibacterial. It is. You don't know that. I'm not using bar soap that anybody has used. Bar soap is the only way to be clean. Full stop. No. You are wrong. Do you wash your hair with it too? That was my dad. All he used was bar soap. I brushed my teeth with it.

And then you swear and then you brush your teeth. Okay. What list the whole one use? It seems wasteful. They literally, even this day and age, it costs 80 cents to buy a bar of soap. And if you think it's so wasteful and it's not disgusting, you take it up and put it in your shower. They don't sell those anymore, do they? Yeah, you can find those. For sure. Well, the little ones by the sink.

The rose-shaped ones. In the shower cap wrapping. You know what I'm talking about. I do. I do think. I stand by the fact that bar soap is gross. Do you have bar soap in your house? Not any bars anywhere in my house. Kyle? Everywhere. Of course. No. I have it in my shower. Yeah. But I don't... It's not by a sink or anything. No, no, no, no. Liquid soap. Not by a sink. Liquid soap. We prefer to spend $100 a week in the liquid pump soap by the sink. That's...

You feel clean when that foam shoots out on your hands? Does that really feel clean? I don't feel clean rubbing something all over my body. It lathers. See, that's what I like, Kyle. I feel like I get more value out of a bar of soap than the...

Body wash. I would have to use half a can of body wash every time I put my fat ass in the shower. I would buy you 15 bottles a week rather than use a bar soap. I'm going to make a video of myself using bar soap and send it to you. It'll just be the waste off. That'll be quite the video. I would say I had to send one back with me using liquid soap and now things got weird. And then when we showed it on TikTok, they're going to see, damn, he's clean. Sparkling. Squicky. Squicky.

Squeaky clean. We use Irish Spring. No. No. That's too much. Dial. Nice antibacterial dial. Yes. All right. Our last segment, it's brought to me, it's brought to you, and it's brought to the people by our good friends at Manly Bands. Manly Bands with unique materials like dino bone, meteorite, historic military materials, and much more. Go to manlybands.com, a band for every man.

Manlybands.com. Say no to boring. Manlybands. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Brian, what's this game called? It's called Buckle Up.

Know your high school nickname, Shady and Kyle. How do we play this game, Bri? Well, this one's going to be a bunny. Just a side note. That was a pretty weak... I think the seltzer's putting you to sleep. I know. It's because I am not good at geography, and I don't think I've ever come close on any of these. Yeah, but you're still way more fun when you drink a whole thing of wine. Fine. Next week, I'll be back.

We want more cookies. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. More cookies. No more cookies. What is this? Could you imagine if that was one of the hardships of what you were talking about? So here we go. Our listeners would have all passed that. What we're doing today is we're going to... We pretty much have the...

Nickname. Half-breeds. That's what they're called? Yes. And... So we're going to do... I have a guess. We're going to guess the high school name. Antioch High School, Illinois. The city. That's how they play it. And the state. Now, when I first...

It is actually the half-breeds. And when I researched this, I thought, well, maybe this obviously has to be an old high school nickname. Nope. Nope. Still loud and proud in 2025. Brand new. I think... Well, hold on. Let's talk about some elements of this design here. Okay. So we've got like a shotgun and what to me...

It kind of looks like a harpoon. Does it look like a harpoon to you? I think it does, but to be honest with you, from this far away, I didn't even notice those details. Do you want me to bring it up closer? No, it's okay. Bring it up closer for the people. I was looking at the fur coat. Yeah? Is it a guy and a girl, I assume? It for sure is. Both short hair. Yes. Okay. And I think one of them is an Eskimo.

And that would go with the harpoon. Yeah. And like the half-breeds. I don't know where that's coming from. Maybe Brian will tell us at the end of the segment when he does the interesting facts. I think that I'm right about this because I think like Jason has family that lives up in Alaska. And I think there's some sort of name for this when you marry like a white person marries an Eskimo. It's something like the half-breeds. Boom, boom. Okay, here we go.

Anayak, Alaska. Anayak High School. The Half Breeds. I'm going. Nailed it. Yes! Right after I said I'd ever get this right. Boom. You were so pissy about it. I finally was useful. In the 1970s, the students at Anayak High School voted to replace their original nickname, which was the Apostles for the Boys. Yes.

And the Angels for the Girls. Oh, that's cute. We should be half-breeds. Yeah, we're going to get away from this godly stuff and go half-breeds. At the time, the school board president was okay with it. He said, you know what? Most people here are mixed race, mixed background. We're proud of it. Yeah, but typically better words to describe that than half-breeds. But go ahead. Tangentially, there was an article I was reading about how...

Someone was comparing, like, why did the Indians have to become the Guardians? Yeah. And the Redskins became the commanders, but the half-breeds are still the half-breeds. Still the half-breeds. So, I'm going to say it. How did you pronounce it? Antioch? Well, I'm trying to be funny to call it Antioch, but I know it's Anayak. Anayak is a town of 500 people. It's 300 miles east of Anchorage.

and is accessible only by boat or air. Okay. 300 east. That's not even towards the sea. That's the inland. Right. The high school has 55 students and a staff of seven, which includes the bus driver. That's a good ratio. Which I find is interesting because they said it's only accessible by boat or air. So where's he driving the bus? Well...

Bus is a loose term in Alaska. It's really one of the planes that lands on the water. What are those called? Bush planes? So they actually have four sports teams. Two for girls and two for boys. Basketball and volleyball. Nice. Who do they play? They're indoor sports.

Yes, that makes sense. And the funny thing is, if you look at a sign in the gym, loud and proud, home of the half-breeds. Well, now this couldn't be more true, but you know what they say, everybody. Once a half-breed, always a half-breed. That's a wrap, boys. Another epic live stream for the people.

I'm going to go build an igloo. Hey, everybody. Thanks for joining us. Happy Wednesday. When you're on and about, do something good out there.

Episode Transcription