*music*
Hello! Hello! Bears! Hey, Bears! Welcome to the show, everybody! This is BS from a basement. It is brought to you by Get Some Sports 13 for the best in local high school athletics. AAU basketball, intercollegiate volleyball, and club volleyball on YouTube, Facebook Live, Spotify, Audible, Pandora, Apple...
And Amazon. And Rydacenter Brewery. Brewed with Humility. Locally brewed and packaged in Lake Villa, Illinois. Try one of those bad boys today. You shan't. Be this boy. Love it. And don't forget 25% off at manlybands.com. Using promo code GETSOMESPORTS13 at checkout.
So, you know, Jane, I wanted to make sure that your tinting was right on the camera. I know I was late. It's on me. And you're upstairs screwing around with the production people. It's on me. How I look today is all on me. All right. I can't be helped.
You got to do what you got to do. The production people are fun to talk to upstairs. They're a good time. Good people. All right. So we went on the road tonight. The little Lakes volleyball. How'd that go? They got, they kind of got beat up on by Carmel today. Not the, it wasn't the best showing by Lakes. I've seen them play better. Is it best of three or best of five? Best of three. Two out of three.
Kind of got whomped the first one. Very competitive the second, but couldn't get it over the finish line. But you know what? They never gave up and they never gave in. Anyway, I was saying all that to say half of our equipment has been in the high school, so I have to run home and set it back up. And I don't always know your settings. And that's why I'm telling you. No, that's OK. That's it. It was worth it. And again, like I said, my fault.
It is your fault when we get right down to it. I'm taking the blame. Now, on top of that, JD, I got the iPhone 17 Pro working over here. Or not working. And working is a loose term because I can't get it to talk to the old soundboard.
You know, for when the people call us. Time for an upgrade on the soundboard. And it shouldn't matter that it's a new phone because it's wired right into the soundboard. But I can tell you this. Did they change the wire again like Apple likes to do? And you just forced that old one in there? That's possible. I didn't think about that. Did it take a little bit more effort? Is your shoulder okay? It seemed like things did crack and creak.
All right, well, I'm going to try to work on getting that fixed while we try to do the show because it just, you know, you know how I like it when things work right and I don't like it when things work wrong. It's disappointing. Yeah, I'm going to work on it. But here we are. All right, let's get to it. You're toast, J.D. It is mine. Oh, what do we have there, J.D.? Oh, I have White Claw in a wine glass. Oh, I thought it looked pretty clear. It is much too late for me to be drinking this size of a glass of wine on a Wednesday. Okay.
Well, apparently... So, explain to me why the volume of liquid is different because it's a white claw. Well, it's not the volume because I drank a little bit, but it's the alcohol content. Wine is like a 14%. Yeah, that's true. This is like a five. Okay. So, that's why she has three of them, Kyle. Okay. All right. So...
Here's to fun. The only thing we're truly good at and the only plan we ever stick to. Oh, love that for us, JD. We are because at the time of night, Kyle and I are drinking this low alcohol Manhattan. Yeah, it's a very. It's a good choice. Now, somehow I have the settings to play my TV room instead of my playlist because I like to check it with, you know,
I check it with the old Apple Music on the board. I'm going to keep working on this. Maybe your entire house is just playing songs from your phone. Everyone upstairs is going insane. Entirely possible. They hear us on the moon tonight. But if you hear country music all of a sudden in your headset, that's going to be why. Okay, we'll let you know. I can't figure it out. Okay. All right. If you want to...
Call and talk to us. We have no way to answer the phone. Probably 17 people are trying to call right now. Call my phone and I'll hold it to the microphone. I vow this to you. I'm going to continue to try to get it to work. But if you don't have my phone number, you can friend us on GetSumSports13 on Snapchat and you can use the call-in feature on Snapchat to call us. Otherwise, if you'd like to type...
All you got to do is go to YouTube or Facebook Live and in the comment section, type in whatever you like, and then Carl will send them into the studio and we'll get to see how funny you are. Cool? There we go. Giddy up. All right. Our first segment is brought to you, brought to us, and brought to the people by our good friends at Brian's Underwear.
They're short, white, tight, and they fit just right. Brian's underwear. Bulls. All right. That takes us right into this week in Famous Birthdays and National Thing Day. Yes, it does. Kyle has been red hot the last two weeks on birthdays. He has been. And these ones, I think, are super easy. But I also need to contact corporate and find out when my one-year anniversary is so I don't, like, overlap birthdays.
Oh, good call. Yeah, because I don't remember what I did a year ago, and it's coming up. Is white hot hotter than red hot? I think it is. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. White hot is a hot hot. It goes red hot, white hot, blue flame is, I think, how it goes. Blue's the hottest? I think blue's the hottest. All right. Did not know that. Okay. I think you're right. I like it. Well, now that everyone's more educated on which part of the flame not to touch, we're going to start with birthdays.
First one, a live September 23rd birthday. This famous musician turned 76 years old yesterday. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1999, but despite all of his musical success, never recorded a number one hit in the United States. Hmm. Hmm. How old? 76. 76.
I can't. I could venture a guess, but keep going. He is good friends with Barack Obama and even released a podcast with him called Renegades. Wow. I don't got nothing there. Man. I'm going to put my hand up. I got a guess. I got a guess. He was born in Long Branch, New Jersey, USA. Well, then my guess is not correct. Okay.
That one didn't give it away. Is it Bruce Springsteen? You got it. Wow. He never hit a number one hit? No, not in the U.S. He was born in the top 10, but never cracked number one. He was born to run. I thought we were saying it was Paul McCartney and all his stuff was recorded overseas. No. Oh.
The next one was he could be found off in between D Street and F Street. I think you were thinking that one out. Brian, good job. Good job, Brian. Wow. You answered a little prematurely. I know. Well, I got nervous. I haven't got one in like three weeks. When Kyle guessed wrong or thought about guessing wrong, you had to jump in. Jamie walked in the studio and you raised your hands. That's why I can't figure out the phone. He's working one-handed.
All right. Next one. Yep. Also alive. Love it. September 21st birthday. This well-known author turned 78 years old this week. His career started in 1974 with the publication of his first book, which he had actually thrown in the garbage until his wife found it and encouraged him to try and get it published.
Author. This book wasn't an immediate hit, only selling 13,000 copies in hardcover, but then later had its redemption when it was published in paperback and went on to sell well over 1 million copies in its first year. Redemption must mean something, Kyle. Okay.
This author's work is also a shining star on film and TV. It's freaking, yeah. Dang it. His list of feature length movies based on his work is nearly a mile long. There have been over 50 feature length movies based on his work. Wow. Really? Yeah.
What do you got? Stephen King? It is. Yeah. That's good. He's got 50? Yeah. Because he writes short stories. There's all sorts of stuff out there. And the fun fact is he doesn't like most of them. And have you seen him lately? He looks like he could be in a horror movie. I think he is. He's always looked like that. Not a great looking guy. He's got the face of an author.
So happy birthday to those guys. Okay. Which moves us on to National Day of. It is National Punctuation Day. Oh. Which is for my good friend Kyle, who enjoys correcting my grammar. So I have to imagine he also enjoys a properly punctuated sentence. Yeah. And you know what I really like? What's that? And I use it that nobody else uses. What's that? What's it called? The Oxford comma. Oh. I use that a lot.
Do you know when you make a list and it's blank, blank, and blank? Yeah. The Oxford comma goes right in there with the and. Before the and, but you don't put that in there anymore. You do if you use the Oxford comma. That's how we grew up learning it, just like how you don't need a double space anymore, but I still double space to start a sentence. Well, don't be a hillbilly. I do that too. And then there's always little squiggly lines under everything I write.
Well, without National Punctuation Day, imagine what would happen without the comma. The sentence, let's eat, comma, grandma, could turn Thanksgiving into a cannibalistic free-for-all. Yes, it could. Oh, what are we getting tonight? When was the earliest known document with punctuation? Wow. I thought we were going to...
Say when was the first case of cannibalism? Did it happen on papyrus or did it happen? I'm going to say in the 1545. I think punctuation is more of an English phenomenon.
I think that's true. 1,200. 900 BC. Well, I said 1,200, so prices are rules. If I meant BC, I would win, right? You win.
All right. And one more. And certainly they spoke English in 900 BC. Well done, Kyle. Yes, thank you. The king's English, I bet. And one more quiz for you, which I wouldn't consider this a punctuation mark, but the site that I looked everything up on did. What is the official name of, for Brian, the pound symbol, or for my friends at the frat house, the hashtag symbol? What's the official name? What is that officially called? And it's not pound or hash. No.
Well, hell. The number? Nope. Yeah, that was a good guess. The number sign. It's an Octothorpe. Octothorpe? Yep. Really? Yeah, that's what it's called. So everyone calls it whatever they want. Did you tell me one more time how that was related to Sigmund Ho?
Because they call the hashtag for my buddies at the frat house. You call the pound, they call the hashtag. Did that guy just octothorped me? I've never even heard that word before. That's outstanding. Kyle, you've been octothorped. I was in a band called octothorped.
And a way you can celebrate is go on a website for National Punctuation Day and play all of the punctuation games, which I'm sure are really fun. I bet those are awesome. I bet they're a good time. Wow. So, happy National Punctuation Day. Thank you. Which moves us along to National Horchata Day. Oh, yes. Which is celebrated every September 24th since 2001. You know what horchata is, Bri?
No. Rice milk with cinnamon. You got it. It's got cinnamon in it. Cinnamon in it. What else does it have in it? Almonds, sugar, and tiger nut. So good. Brian, tiger nut is neither from a tiger nor a nut. Yeah. It's a plant. You know it's a good horshada when you can really taste the tiger nut.
And while it's a Mexican drink, it originated in West Africa. Balls. Dates back to 2400 BC, so before punctuation. Oh, balls. And to celebrate, we're going to have horchata cone rum. Oh, yes. Also known as...
Rum Chata. Made in Wisconsin. One for you. Yes, JD. Oh, it's even cold. It's cold. Get at that, Brian. JD, you're the best. That's a lot. It's big. Jamie, it's 13.75. You can't eat this. You can't drink this or eat this. You're the best. Oh, this is going to come out slow, too. That's what she said.
Cheers to the Rum Chata. Was that set on a golf course? It's got a very small aperture on it. Here we go. It's almost like a nipple. We probably shouldn't all drink this at the same time. It kind of burns a little bit. In what year did Rum Chata sales peak at over 1 million cases sold?
Rum Chata. Well, hell, Rum Chata hasn't been around that long. No, it has not. I'm going to say 2012. 2001. 2021. That's what I meant. What did you say? COVID. What did he say? He said 2012. No, you said 2012. I said 2012. You said what? 2021. Oh, you did say 21? I thought I said, that's what I meant because the year after COVID. All right, you win.
I clearly drank too much rum chata already. I forgot. To be truthful, I meant to say it. I actually said 2001. Oh, well, then I win. That's what I thought you said. Brian. Now, look at produced and bottled in Pewaukee, Wisconsin. A lot of people don't know this. Rum chata, really good in hot chocolate. It is. Yeah.
Rum chata also good in horchata. What else do you put this in? Rum chata does not go well with black beans. I know that to be a fact. That's so bad with... That is a tough combo. That's so bad with Cheerios.
Oh, okay. Cheerios. You pour this over your Sunday cereal. I like it, Brian. This isn't a shot. It's a lot of work to get this down. It's 100 milliliters. How many ounces is 100 milliliters? Maybe this is why I couldn't do the wine today. So there's 25 ounces in.75, which means there's a...
Every two point. This is four ounces. Oh, we're going to be totally chatted. We are so chatted. All right. Next segment. Here we go. Which one do I want to play? I have so many choices.
I came with a bottle of LaCroix to be nice, and I have four other drinks in front of me. That just keep coming out of... Coming out of no everywhere. We forgot to do our three strikes you're out football thing this year. Oh! I mean, we can still boot it up. It's a little late to the game. Well, the good thing is, let's wait until the first bye week, and then we'll start. Just hammer them. But don't we need people to be able to call in for that, too? Yes. I'm still currently working on...
We won't do that tonight. Again, if you hear Travis Trude all of a sudden, it'll mean I got the phone working. Well, the good thing is, Kyle, we would have already been done if we started it on time. That's actually very true. All right. So, Brian, at our production meeting, Brian was talking to our producer, Bruce, about an event that happened kind of hot off the presses. We call it a late breaker. What's that? Well, we're going to give Brian the floor to go through his late breaker. So, let me bring up... I took a...
took the time to have Carl make this up for us. And let me bring it up. So as you know, JD, I'm going to put this on full screen so you can really read it. Oh, oh. Oh. So as you know, well, let me say this first. This story is about CH, Chicago Sportsnet, CHSN. We've talked to them before. AKA the worst thing to ever happen to Chicago sports. Oh, we lost it. Oh, yeah. Well, it's random, Cam. All right. Go for it. So,
So back in July, right after the Chizen, as they say it, was approved for Comcast and all that, you were able to get the White Sox over free TV. They were like an internet or antenna. So I went to...
Menards bought myself an antenna. You saved big money there. Did you get 11% back on that? I did. Nice. Do you climb on your roof to fasten that thing in? No, it's on the cabana. Oh, okay. So it's fantastic. And you get like 70 channels, but I didn't really care. I just watched my white socks for free. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, the day after they came on Comcast, they cut the free feed. Oh.
So, I think in the summer, we're outside. Joke's on you. We got the pool and stuff like that. Oh, I was there when that day went down. Yes. You got guilted into buying it by your friend, Duke. By my son, Duke. And he comes into this conversation. Okay. So, I don't like technology. No, he does not. I drive an 84 Ford Tempo with rolled down windows. I just don't like it. And...
So Duke says, hey, Dad, just give me the credit card. We'll get you signed up. He signs me up. And I think like in mere minutes, which is amazing to me, I was watching the White Sox. For Chicago Sportsnet, that actually is amazing. It should take about a week for them to flip that on for you. So I told myself before the month of October, I mean, the season was over for the White Sox in June, but before the month of October, I was going to cancel it. So this morning,
I canceled it. And immediately my confirmation email came. And it said, hello ass. Hello ass. Oh, Duke. Oh, Duke. So I was immediately thinking, I got to go after Chisholm. Yes. Because I thought they were like trolling me. You thought it was them. I thought it was them saying hello ass. Well, I went into my account.
And when Luke signed me up for my name, he put ass. I figured that part out. Well, here's the other funny thing. If you canceled an error, get a hold of us. If you did not cancel your subscription, get a hold of us.
What's the difference between those two statements? None. Like, please just reach out to us no matter what. Just get a hold of us. And if we call you ass, we don't know why you wouldn't re-up your subscription. Oh my gosh, that poor customer service person, if you had actually called. Like, how dare you address me as ass? Can I get your name, sir?
It's ass. Lowercase a. How would I find that? And what's your password? Bend over one. Exclamation point. Oh, my God. Chicago Sportsnet, awful. I had it for the Bulls. I had trouble with the whole Bulls season. And I kept saying to them, either fix the issue, which was a big red line through my screen, or you have to give me my money back. Yes.
And every time I asked for my money back, they would stop talking to me. And then like in two weeks, they would randomly email me. Are you still having the issue? And I'd be like, yeah, fix it. And then they would talk to me. And then I would say, I want my money back. And then it would go cold. So finally, I called them and they said, if you want your money back, you bought it through Apple. You have to go through Apple for the refund. Of course. So I email Apple. Hey, I brought this service. It's been goofed up from day one. No problem. Apple gives me all my money back.
That's how a corporation should work. They're like, use us to buy our new phone. Not like that other ass we have in Grey's Lake. The dude that was on Antenna. All right. We got to talk about this. Who's going to win the Ryder Cup and why do you think that? Ryder Cup is this weekend. Europe versus, I'm sorry, Europe v. USA. USA. USA.
Bry, who's taking the title and why? So it's hard not to be a homer in the way it's gone. The home team has won six out of the last...
Seven or something like that. But last year wasn't close. Last year was like a grade A beatdown. Two years ago. Yeah. Every two years. Yeah, they absolutely whooped them. I should have just said last time. Yeah, last time. And I think on paper, the Europeans have the better team. Yeah. But I can't...
I'm pretty sure the FTC would shut our show off and take away our license if I did not pick USA. Okay. I can appreciate that. You feel some forced loyalty. I appreciate that. JD, what do you think? Or did you want to respond to this comment? Well, we actually call him, his close friends call him D-Cup.
And he would love to call him to the show if we weren't having some technical difficulties right now. Baby rude. You know what? D.D. would love to get in on the USA conversation. Who do you think D.D. would pick to win the Ryder Cup? Well, first of all, he doesn't know what the Ryder Cup is. But if you gave him a choice between USA and Europe, what would he pick? USA. For sure. In fact, if we won, he'll hamstring all the European guys. Yeah.
J.D., what do you got? Well, I wore my American glasses today because I'm clearly Team USA. Oh. I did. Just for that. They're more fun. They're just out there to have a good time and they're going to win. The USA is more fun? Yeah. Wow. I would not say that's true at all. Well, I think you're wrong. Okay. You know what? You get to express your opinion. I just have to deal with it. Freedom of speech. Free speech. First Amendment. I appreciate that. All right. So here's the thing. I have bad news for both of you.
As much as I like Bryson DeChambeau and the U.S. team, I have to tell you, unfortunately, the Europeans are going to win. DeChambeau just made a shot into a shot glass in his upper loft. Yeah, it took him like a thousand shots. What a hack. Twelve days. Twelve days.
Do you want me to tell you why Europe is going to win? Sure. Why are you wrong? The U.S. has one live golfer on their team. Europe has two. Oh, my gosh. Hey, D-Cup knows what the Ryder Cup is. He does not. He heard us say that. He guessed. Double D's. He thought it was horseback riding. I don't even know who he is, but that's what it felt like. He's a good guy. He is a really good guy. Big Cubs fan. Yes. And Bears. Bears.
All right, listen, we're going to keep on with the sports session. I got a lot of feedback from anonymous sources that were texting into the show to say that the sports section last time was a little long. Oh, okay. So I've modified it because we listen to the people. We do. And we want to give the people what they want. Mm-hmm.
Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to rattle off one, two, three, four, five, five college lines. And you only have to play one of them. So like, I'll set it up. I'll give you a little bit of information. I'll give you the line. If you want that play, take that play.
If you don't, we'll just move on. It'll be like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. All right. You ready? Yep. First one. Pass. And JD, you are the mascot expert. So please, when you think of one, throw it in here. All right. I'll do my best.
Game number one, USC. Da Trojan. 21 ranked USC against 23 ranked Illinois. It's from Champaign. USC giving up six and a half. Anybody want a piece of that action? Well, I got to tell you, before...
Illinois got throttled at Indiana, I would have probably taken the fight and lining. But I think that's a, I think USC's a gold there. You think USC will just. They're going to cover. Cover and maybe went out, right? Yes. Okay. Do you want that to be your bet? That could be my bet. That's your bet. Okay. I'm going to say Brian's taking that. All right. Next one. LSU versus Ole Miss. Don't run in Rebels.
LSU ranked four. Ole Miss ranked 13. Ole Miss is getting one and a half at home in Oxford, Mississippi. That's not enough. Wow. So you think LSU is going to destroy them? Yes. So you don't think Mississippi can cover one and a half? No, I don't. Are you taking that bet? I am taking that bet. Love it. Next one. Number six, Oregon.
The Ducks. Against number three, Penn State. The Nittany Lions. PSU getting three and a half at home. I don't think Penn State can cover three and a half, but I don't want any piece of that action. No, that was one I definitely not. Yeah. Number 17, Alabama. The Crimson Tide. Yes. Against number five, Georgia. Alabama getting two and a half on the road.
That doesn't seem like enough either. I don't think they can cover that. These lines are tight this week. They're tight. I'm leaving that one alone. You're running out of games. Yeah. Last one, Kansas. The University of Kansas, who apparently is playing no road games this year. Yes. From Lawrence, Kansas versus Cincinnati. Duh, Bearcats. Love it.
Rock Jock Jayhawks spotting Cincy five and a half. KU covers five and a half every day of the week and twice on Sunday. So I'm taking... Too bad they're playing on Saturday. I'm taking Kansas to cover five and a half. All right. So that gets us through that. Hopefully that was faster for the people that complained about it. Yeah. But we got one more to do.
This is called The Biggest Line I Can Find. This is brought to us by the CPSA, the coca plant growers of South America, turning basic chemistry into terrible life choices since forever. Completely and totally obliterated. All right. The Biggest Line I Can Find, number 20 Missouri, boo, against UMass. This is coming to us from Columbia, Missouri,
UMass, before the game even starts, Jamie, is ahead 43 and a half to nothing. I will always bet against that because who's going to leave? You can't leave your starters in that long. Well, of any dirtbag team, Missouri will. Well, they might, but there's no point.
Can Missouri cover 40? I mean, come on, 43 and a half? That is a gigantic number. That's too many. I'm taking the Minutemen. All right, Brian, I think we're all taking. Brian, Jamie, and Kyle are taking UMass. They can stand that up. That line is way too big. They can stand that up. I love it. I love everything about it. Isn't Calipari their head coach? Yeah, I think he is still there.
All right. Hopefully the sports section was faster. We have a lot of haters on the sports section, but the sports section is very important to me. Haters are going to hate, guys. Haters are going to hate no matter what we do. Our next segment is brought to you
By, again, still nobody. You have no sponsorship. Are you working on that? Carl working on that? Who's working on it? Jamie. Okay. Sorry. Again. Our friend Brian, he is a connoisseur of the news. He has been known to watch multiple newscasts every night. He reads multiple newspapers every day. He's even been known to walk the beat. And he brings us the best news stories of the week in a little segment that we call Brian's Riff.
Riff City. Come on now. All right. So we talked a little bit about in the last couple of weeks about this outrage marketing, right? Yes. You try to purposely do things or allegedly purposely do things to get... To piss the people off. Yes. And then get coverage. So here's one that I think may or may not qualify, but I don't know if you saw this, but if we can get a little closer on that watch face. Swatch.
Swatch watch. The Swiss watchmaker is trolling the 39% tariffs that the United States has placed on its home country by selling a watch that flips the location of the three and nine numerals. Oh. I didn't even notice that. Did not notice that either. None. Swatch jokes that the new watch is hopefully just a limited edition because they want those tariffs to go away.
What does switching the 9 and the 3 have to do with tariffs? I'm missing that. 39% tariffs. Does it tell time backwards or does it still go the other way? No, it's completely a traditional watch. But you just have to remember. It's not neon like the Swatch watches I remember. That used to be hanging on people's walls. So the watch is only available in Switzerland, ironically.
So it's not subject to the tariffs. Yeah, nobody's getting tariffed there. So when you... Sorry, who's getting the 39% tacked on? Anything that's imported to the U.S. from Switzerland. It's to the U.S., yeah. Oh. So they're only selling it to their own people. Yeah, yeah. So they're selling it to kind of troll Trump and tariffs. It had been for the last 42 years. Is that like jokes on Trump that you won't see because it's not here?
Nobody wears swatch. Everyone knows that. So let me ask you a question. You can give it to me in Swiss francs or U.S. dollars. What do you think they're selling that thing for? That's a nice watch. And it's kind of like a commemoration of the Trump tariff era. I'm going to go $3.75. Oh, I was going to go $3,500. Okay.
Okay. Buckle up. $174. Oh, we're both over. Price is right. We just bought so many watches. Which in Swiss francs is $139. You never bought one swatch. You bought multiple swatches. No, and you had to buy the different bands. There was never really like an expensive swatch before, right? No, but this one. Not that price, no. This one, they were like, this is our money maker. Yeah, boom. Kind of cool, though. It is cool.
I would like to get my hands on one. It's got a very square face and looks like a large square face. It looks big. It almost looks like a picture frame around the earth. Right. Like I'm going to hurt somebody if I accidentally hit them with that. Since when do I have to hold my watch to a mirror to tell what time it is? Well, Kyle and I would have been fine because we didn't even notice it was wrong. We didn't even freaking notice it. It looks good. It's 10.36. Everybody knows that. Now...
On to beer news. Beer. Kyle, did you know that Michelob Ultra has now overtaken Bud Light and Modelo in U.S. retail sales by volume for the year date ending on September 14, 2025? Okay. Okay.
Did I know that? No, I didn't know that. The Bud Light part doesn't surprise me. But when people got off of Bud Light for the whole political reason, they said Modelo had a big bump, right? I'm telling you this right now. I would drink a Modelo every day of the week before I drink a Michelob Ultra. But I'm telling you the Ultra is the part that surprises me. It's not good. It doesn't taste good. And who's...
Who's like, oh, man, give me a Mick Ultra other than a bunch of girls? You know what? I'm trying to decide between a Modella and an Ultra. I'm going to go with the Ultra. Modella is a line. They're not even the same. No, they're not. I think part of it is this new weight conscious, calorie conscious thing.
What do you call when you're sober, conscious? It's low alcohol and low calories. Miller Lite, only one more calorie. Yeah, that's why it's just silly. So you may recall, we won't go into the whole story, but you may recall that Modelo overtook Bud Light in 2023 because Bud Light was an idiot. I think somebody just said that. Interestingly...
coming back to 2025, the CEO of Constellation Brands, who is Modelo's parent company, attributes the slide in sales of Modelo to the fact that half of Modelo's U.S. customers are Hispanic. And some of these
Oh my God. I know what you're going to say. They've stopped going out to restaurants and gathering in large groups out of fear of being swept up in deportations. This is the CEO of the company who said this. This is how he can explain our customer base is being deported. If they're staying home more, they should just be buying more beer to stay home. Beers. Well, they have to have somebody go get it. They need a runner. Oh my God. So yeah, I couldn't believe when I saw that.
That is unreal. That's crazy. All right. But I do like a good Modelo. Yeah. They are good. Ice cold are really good. Yes. Bears. Moving from beer to bears. Bears. That's a fat bear. Well done. Well done, J.D. Did you know that 9-23-25 is not only Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Second day of it. First day of it.
It's also Fat Bear Week. You're lucky I didn't pick that up for the show. Yes. Every fall, rangers in Alaska's Kotmai National Park keep track of the brown bears who live there, noting how much weight each one gains ahead of entering their winter hibernation period. Can I give an interesting fact? Ready? Brown bear, grizzly bear, Kodiak bear.
all the same bear. Did you know that? They're all the same. That can't be true. It is true. Is that true, Brian? Why would you ask him? Because he has a story about bears he might know. I grew up on the south side of Chicago. Yes. I've been to Alaska. He's been to the south side of Chicago. I had to get a bear horn, bear spray when I went to Canada. They didn't tell me that. Well, those are only black bears.
They're weak. A few days ago in northern Michigan, I got up real early to go for a walk run. It was still dark out, and I realized there could be bear. There could have been. So I didn't go outside. That was not a good idea. So this year's crop of competitors includes two previous winners, Kyle. 32 chunk.
And 128 Grazer, who won in 23 and 24. That's their name? I was in a band called 123 Grazer. 128 Grazer's Cub just won the Fat Beer Week Junior title. Wow! I'm going to shame someone by calling them a 32 chunk. He's going to hibernate the shit out of this winner. So voting is actually done online in March Madness style bracket, pitting beer...
versus bear until one winner is crowned. Nice. You can vote either who is the fattest or one whose story touches your heart. This bear's got a lot of booty. It's not necessarily fat throughout. It's fat on the back. Oh, my God, Jimmy. Look at that bear's butt. You know that thing is just flaunting it when it works. Oh, yeah. You know you like this. By the way, 128 grazer, two-time defending championship.
Oh. I think that's her. Well, that's not a story. So let me ask you a question. She looks like she's posing for the bikini contest. In 2024, how many people voted in Fat Beer Week? 200. 17,000. 1.4 million. What? I win. I win Price is Right rules all day long. Shit.
So I can't wait till next year. Yeah. Now we know. I'd like to see them after they're hibernated. They probably look like their skin is dragging. Yeah. They come up with those epic faces. They came out emaciated. Okay. Hibernated to emaciated. All right. Finally in the riff, another...
chapter of why are my taxes so high in Illinois? Uh-oh. Well, J.D., I'm glad you asked. Illinois Department of Corrections employees were allowed to work overtime on the same days they were on paid leave. Oh, that is a great deal. Raising concerns by the state's chief auditor,
that prison employees were abusing overtime. What? Do you think? How do you come to that conclusion? In the report recently released, this is the hammer, in the report recently released by the Auditor General, he noted that the corrections agency was called out by the state for the same issue a decade ago. Oh, my God. And came to the conclusion, I quote,
management has been unsuccessful in implementing a corrective action plan to remedy this deficiency. That's not a real hard corrective action plan. If you're on leave, you're not working. Yeah, the thing is, if you're on paid time off,
don't come to work. You can't have overtime. You can't also work. So, essentially, you're getting double time and a half. Yes. Probably for sleeping in a cloud. All right. That's the right. Those were good finds, Brian. What the hell? What the hell is wrong with this state? Now, is that...
I thought when I saw this, is that Joliet State President in the picture? Do you know? Yes, it is. Yes, I thought that was a good one. How would you know that? Well, one of my favorite artists played a very famous concert in the Joliet State President. Do you know who that might be? The Blues Brothers. No. Johnny Cash. Well, he may have. Yes. No. Snoop Dogg. Actually, yes. I would say I thought he did.
And I'm wrong about what I was going to say. My favorite artist played a concert in the Cook County Jail. Now guess who that was. We listened to it when we brew beer. That was president. No. We never listened. What the hell is wrong with you? Oh, Jeremiah had a bullfrog. No.
Snoop Dogg. Yes. No. B.B. King. B.B. King. Oh, that's right. That's what you listen to when you boo a beer? I gotta tell you, we love blues when we're brewing. My favorite is whenever you drive on a highway near a prison, what sign do you see? Don't pick up hitchhikers. Don't pick up hitchhikers. Yeah. I just taught that to my kids this summer. Yeah. Because you drove by a prison? We did in Michigan. Yeah.
All right. I was kind of hoping you were going to keep talking. Yeah, especially if they're wearing an orange jumpsuit. Yes. With numbers on them. It's a dead giveaway. It could just be cold. All right. It's time for goofball of the week. I got a couple. I don't know how good they are. I don't feel great about them. All right. We're going to deal them. Well, there's that level of goofballs. I think they're goofballs or goofballs. I trust you. Okay. My first one.
And this is going to be a backwards insult to the Bears. My God, last weekend, the freaking Cowboys. How bad are they? How bad are they? Worse than the Bears. The Bears by a lot. 31-14. The Bears take down the Cowboys.
I don't understand it. I really don't get it. Like, Dak Prescott, like, should have been gone five years ago. I'm not talking Cowboys football, but it's not like they've given away their whole team. I know they've traded one of their better defensive players, but to have the Bears smoke you that bad, the Bears are awful. Have they done a lot to build their team, though? I don't think so. Well, Matt Eberflus is their defensive coordinator. Yeah.
He's overqualified for that role. Yes, exactly. Well, all I'm here to say is Jerry Jones is too old for a rebuild. And after watching the Bears beat the hell out of them, this is just awful. Awful. I can't imagine it was a good day down there. No. So is your goofball the Cowboys or Jerry Jones? The Cowboys. Everyone. Like, you can't do that. The Bears can't beat you that bad.
Dave Diler, what do you think of that? Double D's? D cup. All right, here we go. This is the second one. Do you recognize who this is? Yes. Okay. This is Bill Belichick and his, what is she? 18 year old girlfriend. His great, great granddaughter.
All right. So, excuse me. What is her name? Don't know. I forgot. Dumbass. Dumas. Oh, she's French. So if you're North Carolina, you're okay. I'm going to go a couple different directions with this.
North Carolina is two and four. The only wins they have against two mid-major teams. They beat Richmond and Charlotte. The Spieters. Yeah, Spieters is correct. Hey, good job. That was nice. Duh, Spies. Good guess. They were absolutely shelled by TCU, absolutely obliterated by University of Central Florida, who is not a good team. And...
I know this is year one for Belichick. I know this is not his recruiting class, and that's not what this is about, necessarily. It's just, I put myself in the shoes of a North Carolina fan. It's not going particularly well. It's not a good team. Maybe it will be over time, but...
why is she on the sidelines before and after games? She's looking for a new boyfriend. Building her brand. It doesn't, it, it, to me, it seems wildly inappropriate that she would be on the sidelines. Why is she there now? Here's my other, here's my other thing.
maybe this happens all the time with significant others. And because it doesn't because they always show them in the stands, they're not on the sidelines. Okay. Well, I was, where I was going with that is maybe this is such a cluster with him being old enough to be her great grandfather that we know that she's there because of that. And it happens elsewhere, but we don't see it.
but it just doesn't seem right to me. If I was a North Carolina fan and we were getting our ass kicked by everybody that had a decent team, I would have a problem with what you're seeing on the screen right here. With his focus. Yes. What is she doing on the sidelines? Is she during the game or just...
She seems to be there right before the game. She seems to be there after the game. And she seems to really enjoy these white knee-high go-go boots that she has. Yeah, I have no idea why she's there. There's no purpose for her to be there. So he's not the guy he was. He was like...
Ran a real tight ship in New England. Yes. Right. Well, and if he wants people to think that he's doing the same here, he should not want her around. Right. But I think if he says to her, hey, babe, you can't come on the field. What's she going to do? Leave him for what? Well, I don't think it ends well if he says that to her. But great. But he has all the money. Where's she going to go?
I don't know. I don't understand why she has the power in this relationship. She seems to. I don't understand why, though. And she also seems to speak for him to the media for whatever reason. And she's like a totally inexperienced early 20s. What do you know about anything? It's actually...
sort of taking the luster off of what he's done as a football coach. Yes. It's a total sideshow. He's a clown. Yes. Hey, Belichick, you're a clown. Make me a bicycle. Make me a bicycle clown. All of a sudden, a comment pops up.
All right, that's my goofballs of the week. Well done. I liked it. I did. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Anything that encourages a little bit of conversation is a good thing. I like conversation. Speaking of conversation. Oh.
It's time for Dare JD. I'm going to bring up the graphic for once. Because Carl never brings it up. We look like such an interesting pair in that picture. Our hats go together. It looks like you guys play country and western. Oh, this is... Actually...
In all the surveys, this is the top segment to our show. You know what I hear? When people come up to me out in public and talk about the show to me, they say, why don't you just do an hour of just this? Just this. Because we can't give the people too much guidance. That would make the world boring. The thing is, you're not just giving guidance. We have to allow people to make mistakes. You're not just giving guidance to the person who's asking the question. You're giving the guidance to all the people who want to ask that question. That's right. Right.
All right, here we go. Well, wait. You just need to set up the segment. I got my finger on it. People are still confused. JD, the people need advice. They crave direction. They are blind. That's not the God voice. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What just happened? They crave direction. Oh, hold on. You got to talk slower. They are blind.
That wasn't slow. They are blind. No, hold on. Carl! Here we go. Go for it. They are blind and want to see again. That's why we asked J.D.
Okay. All right. This first one. I know how Kyle really likes to jump in on these, and I think this one is really... Be careful. He doesn't step over you. All right. Dear JD, are exposed bras and bra straps now an acceptable form of fashion? To me, this is tacky and low class. I've been seeing these on women of all ages. You shut up. You shut up right now. There are strapless bras available.
What say you, JD? I say strapless bras are the most uncomfortable thing that you can possibly wear. And a bra strap, if it's out, who cares? We're not in seventh grade. We're not snapping them. It's part of a shirt at this point. Like, unless I can see your lacy bra all the way hanging out, I really don't know if it's a part of your shirt or if it's part of your bra.
So you don't care. I don't care. I don't want to put on a strapless bra. That's what I care about. Years ago... Years ago, it mattered. Taboo? I think sometimes you actually see people wearing a bra. Yes, that's a problem. Maybe for you. Why is that a problem? Could you go deeper into that? That's what she said.
We finally got one that Colin stepped over you. The only reason why is I got Manhattan on my white hoodie. I'm a little concerned about that. And this doesn't work still. The ironic thing is that's where Kansas State is.
Right? Manhattan? I don't like that talk at all. Dear JD, I met an interesting man recently and agreed to a date. Interesting never means good. And within a few minutes of the start of it, I realized we had grown up in the same town and already knew each other. Oh, well, he knew you real good. I was younger by a couple of years, and we didn't know each other well, but we shared an extended friend group.
I have a vivid memory of being in the back of his truck when he intentionally hurt an animal while driving. Oh, no. He did not express any remorse. Quite the opposite. He wouldn't pull over, and I became physically ill. That image has stayed in my mind.
He says he's a different person now, nearly 15 years later. I'm having a hard time even thinking about getting past it. Should I even try? Can a 17-year-old horrible person turn into a 31-year-old person with integrity and empathy? Should I try to get over this image that was seared into my 15-year-old brain?
Sounds dramatic. Okay, so first of all, I don't know how she didn't know that she knew him until they went on this date. Yeah. That's like odd thing, number one. But two, no, she's never going to get over that. And maybe he's changed, but still she's always going to think he's that guy who...
Intentionally swerved to hit a squirrel. I was going to say went out of his way to kill an animal. Is that where we're going with a squirrel? Well, I don't want to think he did anything worse. I think it was way worse than a squirrel. Like a dog? I think a deer. But that would hurt his car. His car would break. Not if he had a dually. Oh, boy. With the bull bar on the front of it. No, this guy, she's never going to get over that. If I saw somebody that tried to hurt an animal and then 20 years from now went on a date with him, I'd be like, no, thank you.
There's other people out there. Also, if you go on a date with somebody and you don't know until you got there that they're from the same town as you, you did not do your research. Yeah, that doesn't follow very well. You just swiped right and went and met him on Tinder. Yeah, I don't think... I have trouble whether it was a dog, cat, squirrel, rabbit. If you go out of your way to kill an animal, I don't think that's a good...
You can't be like, I was a bad 17-year-old, but I don't like to kill things now. What about you, Kyle? We grow out of that. Everybody grows out of that. I unintentionally ran over a squirrel and it ruined my day. And then you feel bad about it. I don't kill things. And also, she was in his car. She knows who this person was. She doesn't, apparently.
But it's only 15 years. How can you not know? A 17-year-old to 31-year-old doesn't look that much different. No. She did not do her research before she went on this date. That's on her. I think she thinks that she's better than squirrel killers, and she's really not. She...
She's getting desperate and wants to know like, okay, my marital window is closing. Can I take a squirrel killer? Animal killer. How bad does it have to be before I say no? Is he going to beat my kid like he beat that squirrel? That's what she's thinking. That's what she's thinking. That's what she's thinking. Our last one. Dear JD, about a year ago, I met the man of my dreams and he and I are planning a future together.
I have a wonderful group of friends. We are all in our 60s and 70s and get together. I was guessing that was okay. And get together often for fun activities. Mahjong. And I feel so fortunate. Cribbage. I feel so fortunate that he and my friends adore each other. We have enjoyed many fun times with the group. We joined three other couples for a dinner and game night, which included a trivia game with categories arranged by generations.
My partner is about a decade younger than I am. We just did a Bill Belichick story. A fact that most were aware of, but apparently one man was not. Do you remember Teletubbies? No. We had black and white TV when I grew up. Literally. Well done. As this came to light in the course of the game, he made a reference to me as a cougar.
Well, you are. That's what I was going to call her. Oh, wait. I have that. Hold on. Hold on. Oh, my gosh. This is so big. Hold on. Hold on. Say it again, Brian. He made a reference. Don't talk slow. You need to talk. Slow it down. What did he call her, Brian? He made a reference to her as a cougar.
To be honest, it took a while to reconcile the age difference in my relationship like she didn't realize she was 10 years older. I am a tad sensitive about it, so the remark did not land well for me. I managed a weak smile...
that hopefully did not show my irritation, but I prefer to never hear this lobbed in my direction again. Well, then date someone you're saving. Yeah. Chill out. This gentleman tends to repeat himself when he feels he's discovered a witticism, Kyle. What the hell does that mean? So it's likely it'll happen again.
Is that like an octopentagon that Jamie talked about earlier? It's an octopentagon. Okay. He generally means well, so I don't want to embarrass him, but is there a way to graciously shut this down if I hear it again? Okay, the only way to shut it down is to pull him aside and be like, please don't, like, I'm uncomfortable with that. Don't call me a cougar. However, if you're dating someone that's 10 years younger than you and you're a woman, that's what you're just going to be called.
It is what it is. You are what you are. It's not a bad thing. It's like a badge of honor, isn't it? It's actually kind of like, hey, you pulled a guy younger than you. So if the dude's 20 and the woman's 30, she's a cougar. Yes, for sure. 30, 40, 50. It doesn't matter. But I never thought that was like a bad thing. No, it should make her feel like good unless it makes that guy, unless she's worried that then it's going to make him think I'm with too old of a lady. I think it makes her feel old.
Yeah. I think that's the problem. But all her friends are old from the sounds of this. Well, I can't. I haven't followed because I've been messing with the cat. So trying to get calls. She's had to catch you up. She's at trivia night or whatever with 60s and 70-year-olds and her boyfriend's like 50.
They just got done with their 4.30 dinner reservation. For half price sake. She has to feel insecure that he's going to leave her. The only way she can make this better is to tell that guy, like, hey, I don't like that joke, which is lame. Or she should make sure she has more money. Yeah. Give him more of this day. Bill Belichick her. How about that? I've been Belichicked. Belichicked.
Those were good, Ray. Thank you. What are you doing over there? Well, I'm working on some stuff. I thought I had a major breakthrough to announce in the phone pairing. I did not. You have a whole week to fix this. I can't remember how to Bluetooth pair. I thought you were going to go over. No, I liked the cat tiny meow. That really was perfect.
All right. Our last segment, it's brought to me, it's brought to you, and it's brought to the people. Oh, my gosh. By our good friends at Manly Bands. Manly Bands with unique materials like dino bone, meteorite, historic military materials, and much more.
Go to manlybands.com. A band for every man. Manlybands.com. Say no to boring. Manly bands. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All right, Brian.
What are we playing? We're playing all my favorite of favorites. It's called Kino, Kyor, K-High School Kinnickinames. This is so hard. It's the best. It's the hardest game in YouTube podcasting. And what's interesting about it, I did get a little bit of... And Kyle brought it up last week, too, and there was other people who emailed me and...
MySpaceMe. Do you have an inbox? We weren't getting the stories we used to about the history and stuff. So we're back. We did research. We researched it a little bit. So here's where we're at. Tell the people how we play. Does that say honkers?
Well, you guessed the damn nickname already. That's a win. That's a win. That was not on me. So basically what we're doing, if you're listening and not watching, we have the high school emblem. Is that what you call it? Logo. Logo. Thank you. I would call it a mascot. Mascot. Logo.
And Kyle and JD, what they do is they look at it and they try to determine the nickname. The easiest thing about this one is it actually says honkers on it. And that is not the nickname. It's the mascot. Sorry. So what we're going to do now is we've guessed the nickname mascot. Game over. Is we're going to have to guess...
The high school name, the city, and the state. Now, I have an interesting question given the nickname. Is this in the United States? That's a good, because I thought that's a Canadian goose. It is a Canadian goose.
You guys... Sharp. Are very sharp. It is a Canadian goose. Oh. And did you know that Honkers is a nickname for a Canadian goose? I did not know that. As well as other things. Yes. Lunar.
So, yes. So that is a Canadian goose. Okay. I think that was our first, like, we just got it right away. Breakthrough. Okay. But is it in the U.S.? It is in the U.S. Oh, well, that doesn't help us. Now, I'm going to give you a little hint here. One of the reasons this school has a Canadian geese slash honker is
as its mascot is it's in an area along what's known as the Pacific Flyway where millions of birds migrate each year including said Canadian goose. So I gave you a little hint there. I'm thinking California, Oregon, Washington, Pacific Flyway.
I think you're probably right. I just can't get beyond the fact that he's like karate kicking. So like his leg is out. Well, it's an aggressive Canadian goose. And the other interesting thing is a lot of Canadian geese these days don't migrate. They still, they shit all over the golf course all year round. And what's nice about it, you are correct. Because our honkers aren't near the Pacific Highway. Correct. And it's also an ale. Flyway. Flyway, sorry. It could also be Alaska.
Alaska, Washington, Oregon, California. Are they going further north from Alaska? I don't know. You just pick one. The flyway doesn't mean north or south. It's just where they fly. I got the honkers. That's all I can do for this. Oh, nice job reading that. Now, I'm really going to narrow this down for you. Okay. Is the city...
where the Honkers High School is located, is also famous for its role as a hub during the California Gold Rush in the 1850s. Sacramento. Yeah. I don't know. I might have made that up.
Oh, you sound... I thought it's a conviction. Such conviction. Oh, the fucking Sacramento... Brian! That's the first time we've heard that word on this show. Excuse me. We're going to have to edit that out. Oh, the Sacramento Hawkers. Yeah. We beat them in high school. Sacramento sounded like a Gold Rush kind of place. It does seem like the California Gold Rush would have been in California. Yes. So we're going to take California. I think we're going to take Sacramento, Brian. Okay.
And what's the name of the high school? Is Sacramento correct? Oh, no, it's not. I'm sorry. Oh, shoot. So we got the mascot. We got the state. We need the city. And the high school. What's interesting about this is we had a high school recently in Arizona that had a name of the city. It was very close to the name of this city in California.
Wow. He thinks we remember past episodes. Yeah. By this point in the show, we're usually pretty drunk. I've had four ounces of rum chata. So the city was Yuma. Oh. So a city in California that sounds like Yuma.
And you're correct. It's in Northern California. Oh. So that's your area of expertise. Why is that? Northern California. Wine country. Did you take a cleanse? Napa. That doesn't sound like Yuma. It does if you're drunk. Napa. Napa, Yuma. All right. Help us out. All right. So the...
It's California. Nailed it. Northern California. Nailed it. Yuba City. Never heard of this. Yuba. Yuba. Obviously. Okay, Yuba City, California. The honkers. Now we got to come up with the name of the high school. Wow.
Yuba City can't have that many high schools. It's got to be the Yuba Honkers. Don't overthink it. It's Yuba City High School. Correct. Yes. We got one. Two Honkers and Yuba City. Nailed it. So Yuba City was obviously famous for its role as a hub in the California Gold Rush. There was also...
And one of the reasons for that is it explains why the marching band is known as the Brown and Gold Brigade. Oh. There was also in my research, unfortunately, in 1976, a bus holding the choir...
This can't be good. One off a cliff. Oh, shoot. 26 people died. Well, that's sad. Well, that's not a fun story at all. It's not. And on that note. God rest the Brown and Gold Brigade. That's not seriously how we're ending this show. I mean... Well, once a honker... Brian!
Brian, that is awful. I know, but I felt I needed to let the people know. I guess that's how we're ending the show, JD. Once a honker, always a honker. Unless you're in the brigade. I guess that's a wrap, boys. Another epic live stream for everyone but the honkers. Man, the worst ending in the history of BS from a basement. Adios, amigos.
All right, everybody. Well, on that note, thanks for joining us. When you're out and about, hug your kids. Do something good out there.
you